Thursday, December 20, 2012

the roof

last night, was on my bed, looking at the fan spinning fast, waiting for sleep to come. and my mind is thinking excessively into the future, trying to plan coming 3 days. too much that sleep inevitably resist me.

and before it was too long, I can't help but remember. It felt like just yesterday I was on my bed back home, staring at the ceiling worrying and deeply reluctant to go back to India in a week time. and yet here I am. here I am.

8 subjects, 8 papers. and yet this is the first internal, and there is 3 more examinations to come.. Amazingly, something totally different this exam. Alhamdulillah, All Praise due to Allah. and deeply thanks to my parents for your prayers :)

Prophet said, Three Duas are such in which there is no doubt of their acceptance: 1) Father’s (mother's) Dua 2) Traveler’s Dua 3) Dua of the oppressed”. (Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah)

Sunday, December 16, 2012

cute moment

 - little picture but significant -

WARNING - you might not understand the story, but I can't really help it. hihi
*smiling wide*

mom : ha, yang ni okay tak?
me : okay je, macam confuse sikit
mom : lama2 okay la tu
me : ye la kot. mi.... sye tak mahu yg ni... mi cari la yg lain ye?
mom : *giggles* ye ye kita cari yg lain
me : *giggles*

love her much (:

Thursday, November 29, 2012

seasonal friendship

my heart is overwhelmed by this urging and longing
and sometimes my mind is fooled by this friendship
thinking I can count on the reflection
but the crystal drops ripple out the promises you carved
with pain and disappointment
I let go of your hand

truly, Allah is THE BEST Listener and Helper!


as much as we are laden unhappy by those seasonal friends who come when they need us and immediately ditch us when they are happy, take that as a lesson. lets not make our prayer, support, boycott and fight for our brothers and sisters in Palestine seasonal. I repeat, DO NOT MAKE THEM YOUR SEASONAL PRIORITY! do not just pray for them when the bomb is falling right down, do not stop buying the boycott products just when the issue is highly published. Always always always strive hard for their freedom, for Islam's glory insyaAllah (:

Sunday, November 11, 2012

dented denture

throughout these 3 months, I had gone thro a lot. with the pressure of posting, the depressing mountain of books, and unexplainable mental stress. but I have to say, prosthodontics posting marks the worst yet.

how would I ever imagine that making of a denture could squeeze that much tears and sweats out of me right? Subhanallah!

Allah really wants to test me on my patience, my perseverance and my humbleness.

a lot more happened before and after that, and I must say, final year is a true testify of your physical and mental strength, and most of all, your faith in Him.

that moment, when I felt so hopeless and have nothing more in me, all i can think of is Him.

"When is the help of Allah ?" Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near (2:214)

and subhanallah, it is very near, indeed. alhamdulillah, All Praise to Allah, all went smoothly and the denture is almost ready!

a lot of tears shed. a lot of rushing to go back and pray and rush back again to class, a lot class missed, and a lot of lunch skipped. these weeks taught me, I am truly nothing without Allah. He is the one who hold me up, and make it possible for me to keep on going. I know the road is long, and a lot more will be coming in my way, but insyaAllah, Allah always always here with me (:

p/s thanks umi ayah for being here for me, always <3 br="br">

Tuesday, October 02, 2012


Allah want me to strengthen my patience
Allah want me to recheck my intention
Allah want me to share all my sorrow and smiles with Him
Allah want me to place my total trust in Him
Allah want me to believe in the beauty of His hikmah
Allah want me to deepen my faith in Him

Allah Allah Allah!

p/s - thanks much my dear friend for tonight ;) may Allah always shower you with His blessing and protect you from the evil :)

Thursday, September 20, 2012

panda sandwich


just a normal usual day, was in my kitchen trying a new recipe - Chicken Teriyaki (turned out yummy!) for my dinner - sandwich :) cutting the chicken pieces and putting it in marinade sauce, suddenly from behind..

Assalamualaikum Nadia!
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to Nadia
Happy birthday to you

And spontaneously my hands started shaking in excitement and I think shock too. hihi. there they are - Rafika, Amy and Dila standing at my door with a cute pink cake and a huge panda!

speechless! too sweet! :D thanks so very much you three for making my day! cant deny was a bit bugged for not having any birthday thingy this year and last year (well last year was horrible one since I was crying my eyes out, thanks to Pathology and Microbiology final exam lol) this year birthday was awesome since I got to celebrate my birthday with family after 3 years, Alhamdulillah. and celebrating with my friends are great too! :)

yummy cake, cuddly panda! Alhamdulillah

thanks very much Amy, Dila and Rafika for this belated celebration! May Allah strengthen our ukhuwah till Jannah insyaAllah! :)


Tuesday, August 28, 2012

4th year

alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah

started my 4th and final year of BDS a month ago, and it is something words cant describe.

done with conservative posting. was very tiring, what with the extracted teeth quota, the patients, and the dreading end posting. mentally exhausted to top it off! but alhamdulillah, glad that i'm done with it, see you again in 5 months time insyaAllah! now in perio #_#

final year BDS - the quota, the tension, the rush, the joy, the future. may Allah ease the journey. pray for me!

and and and

this is also the 4th year celebrating eid away from home. the 4th year, finally got to me. the sadness is different than before I think. the only thing that keep me smiling is his saying - the harder it is, the better is the reward. may Allah count all the tears and sadness and grant us reward that we could never imagine insyaAllah

credit to Qidran for the pic

Monday, August 20, 2012


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Friday, August 10, 2012

beautiful Ramadhan

Sahl ibn Sa'd reported that the Prophet salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam said: "There is a gate to Paradise that is called ar-Rayyan. On the Day of Resurrection it will say: 'Where are those who fasted?' When the last [one] has passed through the gate, it will be locked." 
[al-Bukhari and Muslim].  

Narrated Abu Huraira(r.a): The Prophet said:"... whoever fasts during Ramadan out of sincere faith and hoping to attain Allah's rewards, then all his past sins will be forgiven." 
(Sahih Al-Bukhari). 

 Abu Said al-Khudri reported that the Messenger of Allah, said: "No servant fasts on a day in the path of Allah except that Allah removes the hellfire seventy years further away from his face."

"Indeed We have revealed it (Qur'an) in the night of Power. And what will explain to you what the night of Power is? The night of Power is better than a thousand months. Therein descends the Angels and the Spirit (Jibreel) by Allah's permission, on every errand: (they say) "Peace" (continuously) till the rise of Morning!" 


 Let's win!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

devine journey

Alhamdulillah, I have been blessed to be chosen to attend two of Prof Tariq Ramadan's lectures on his lecture tour :)

I had seen the advertisement for over two weeks but it didn't occur to me, at all, to attend any. On July 17th morning, suddenly it hits me, and I emailed the person in charge to ask whether there is still seat available, and to my shock it is. Then I asked my parents for permission, and I start finding out about bus available to go to Sg. Petani to meet up my friend so we can go together to Penang. It was 4pm and I still can’t find any bus the next day as early as 6am.

Gambling with my luck, and ALL PRAISES TO ALLAH, at 5.30pm, I went to train station with my bag and everything, and Alhamdulillah, there is a train at 7pm. Sitting for one hour in that small station, from an empty benches to station full of waiting passengers, garnished with irritating cigarette smoke, somehow I realize, it is just a beginning of His tarbiyah.

Reading while listening to clickety clack of the train, carved a smile on me. Weird, I know! Alhamdulillah I got to watch sunset too. Two hours after, I safely arrived in Sg. Petani, and thanks very much to my dear Ruqaiyyah and family for having me in their home!

On the bike ride home from bus station to my home, I saw a banner on lecture tomorrow in Perlis! And automatically, I smile :) when I arrived home, my mom told me about the lecture too! Subhanallah :)  Asked my neighbor if she wants to go to his lecture too, and we have a date! :)
The lecture on July 18th was on A Civil State, Ideas and Challenges and on 19th was on Spirituality, Legislation and Ethics ; Contemporary Questions. I want to share my notes on these two lectures but I have to run on an errand soon, so what I can say is, his lectures were mind blowing. The way he explains, it is very easy to understand, yet very interesting. A lot that I’ve learn, from the lectures, and from the journey itself, it is time to adorn knowledge with action!

some of the tarbiyah I got : start looking into small little elements in your life, they will drive you speechless. there is more to marriage than the wedding and obsessing on the happy side of it. Facebook can create an image for any person which might make he/she seem better or worse than who he/she really is.

And don’t forget to check Prof Tariq's website on the right side, there is RAMADAN’S CHRONICLES for 5 minutes Ramadhan's daily chronicles, really, it is very impactful!

p/s DO NOT worry if you think you don’t know everything (keep learning, keep practicing), DO worry if you think you know everything! (lose the attitude dude!)
Pp/s reluctant to go back to india!

Monday, July 16, 2012


**di suatu majlis penyampaian sumbangan**

Saya : Makcik X binti Y?
Mkcik X : Ye, saya (sambil menikmati bihun goreng yg disediakan)
Saya : Makcik, pendapatan sekeluarga ni kan (merujuk kepada borang makcik X), anggaran dalam berapa ye?
Makcik X : tak dak apa2, nak.
Saya : anak makcik ada ke?
Makcik X : ada sorang, perempuan. dia dok bela itik kat rumah, tapi tak dak pendapatan apa pun la nak oi.

Erk! Allah Allah Allah TT.TT 

" Look at those who are below you, not those above you ; for this way, you will not belittle Allah's bounty on you "

(Hadith Bukhari and Muslim)
I need to be thankful to Him more and more, stop obsessing for things I don't have and start saying 'alhamdulillah' for things I have.

p/s : got a job offer yesterday, yet I ought to finish my final year first!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

big goal


let this be the beginning of a journey with big purpose insyaAllah.

O Allah, give me strength and commitment to see this through, to make this one truly meaningful memorable vacation. 

pray for me.

Monday, June 25, 2012

aku tak sempurna

bismillahirRahmanirRahim. post ini specially kutujukan pada si dia, memang situasi kita berbeza, keadaan kita tak sama, dan perasaan yang dirasa tak mungkin selari, tapi perkongsian ini hanyalah sekadar tulisan yang dipandu Dia insyaAllah. moga dengan izin Allah, akan smpai maksud yg kuingin ucap dan maknakan.

tahu benar aku dengan perasaan itu. mana tidak nya, sepanjang 3 tahun aku di India, sudah 6 kali aku bertukar naqibah. setiap kali bertukar, setiap kali itulah perasaan sungguh berkocak. mana mungkin aku kenang setiapnya, kerana kabur dek hati.

tapi, ingin sekali aku ceritakan satu peristiwa, satu ketika, satu naqibah - Kakak A. walaupun hanya berbulatan gembira secara maya, tapi setahun itu terasa kebersamaannya. dan aku ingat, bila mana kakak A memberitahuku - ' nnt akan ada akak ni ambil alih usrah awk ye'. aku terus terdiam, lama. seminggu, dua minggu. sehingga aku tak mampu lagi menyimpan rasa, aku tulis satu email buat kakak A. di baris-baris perasaan itu, aku luahkan semua. aku luahkan marahku, aku luahkan kecil hatiku, aku luahkan jua tawar hatiku. mana tidaknya, itu adalah kali ke-4 aku ditukarkan lagi naqibah. tidak dapat tidak, aku menyalahkan diriku, merasakan diriku terlalu jahat sehingga ke sana sini aku diberi.

mendapat reply email dari kakak A, aku hanya berdiam diri. walaupun tidaklah semarah dulu, tetapi tawar hatiku masih bersisa. walaupun rasa tawar dengan jalan ini, tapi aku teruskan juga. kakak A meminta utk diberikan peluang sekali lagi utk menjadi naqibahku. aku hanya mengiyakan sahaja dan selang beberapa bulan kemudian, aku bertukar lagi kakak usrah.

astaghfirullah astaghfirullah astaghfirullah, baru sekarang aku dapat melihat hikmat itu. setelah setahun lebih berlalu, baru aku nampak tarbiyah yg Allah mahu berikan kepadaku dengan pertukaran naqibah2 itu. Ya Allah, jahilnya aku, kerdilnya aku. aku terlalu asyik dengan perasaan sedih dan marah sehingga aku terlupa mencari RASA itu, rasa CINTA kepada Allah. hilangnya RASA itulah yang membuatkan aku tawar hati. Allah Allah Allah..

dan baru sekarang aku memahami kedudukan naqibahku, bilamana terpaksa melepaskan anak usrah sendiri. baru aku tahu sebenarnya, bukan mudah melepaskan anak usrah yg telah kita bina hubungan dengannya. selama ini aku asyik terperdaya dgn susah dan sedih aku dilepaskan, aku tidak tahu yang sakit jua melepaskan.

kepada naqibah2ku, especially kakak A, maafkan adikmu ini. maaf atas marahku, maaf atas kedegilanku, maaf atas kenakalanku. kini kusedar, semua yg akak2 buat tu, bukanlah atas kehendak diri, kemahuan nafsu, mahupun suka2, tapi semata2 kerana Allah. dan kuharap apa yang aku lakukan pada mereka, semata2 kerana Allah jua.

" anasir tarbiyah paling utama yang akak belajar kali ini adalah tentang perasaan yang benar asasnya... drpd perasaan kita ini sebenarnya akn lahir mujahadah luar biasa utk merubah diri kita...
selama ini, mungkin kita berhubungan dan berkasih sayang tapi mungkin tak sebenarnya ianya belum sampai ke tahap ukhuwwah yang ingin ditanamkan syeikhud dakwah, imam hassan al banna dlm diri semua penggerak dakwah?
kita mengerti bahawa untuk berjuang, perlunya al ukhuwwah yang sangat kukuh antara sesama kita yg memikul beban dakwah yg sungguh berat ni...dan as siqah adalah rukun terakhir di mana kita takkan mampu melanggar amanah kerana taat dan cinta pada al khaliq sepertinya kekasih yg setia.... "

kepada si dia, maafkanlah saya yang hina ini. astaghfirullah, teruknya sye yg menggelarkan diri naqibah, tapi terlalu banyak yg masih compang dan camping dan kurangnya. moga Allah mengampunkan dosa saya. moga Allah memberi kita RASA itu sentiasa supaya kita terus bergerak di jalan ini.

Sunday, June 10, 2012


(you all are awesome!)
it was not easy letting you go. can't deny the bond formed between us, the things we share, the moments we feel. but not being your naqibah doesn't mean it is the end of us!

2:142-145 all these happened for the best insyaAllah. His planning is always the best for each of us. this is the time for us to reflect our intentions ( why we come to our circle, why we sit together and share, why we love each other ) insyaAllah this happen for Allah want to purify our qalb from everything else but Him :) (bergembiralah sang hati2 kerana Allah mahu hati kita penuh dengan Dia semata2)

thanks for the wonderful year we had together. and i would like to apologize for any mistake I've done, if I hurt anyone's feeling, or for whatever reason that cause discomfort or annoyance on your side (halalkan jua hak-hak anda yang sye terlepas pandang dan tidak tunaikan ye? :( )

And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided. And remember the favor of Allah upon you - when you were enemies and He brought your hearts together and you became, by His favor, brothers. And you were on the edge of a pit of the Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus does Allah make clear to you His verses that you may be guided.

I hope this shuffle will not slow us down but BOOST our tarbiyah ahead insyaAllah. let this shuffle make us grow (spiritually) and more efficient. and never ever let small things hold us back! be ready (open our mind and heart) for any tarbiyah Allah had planned for us in the future :)

don't hesitate to share anything with me. you are always welcomed to come to my room for any reason (for no reason too :) ) may Allah bless our ukhuwah and guide us all together to Him:)

sayang kamu kerana Dia

Saturday, June 09, 2012

8 days to final exam

pray for me please?
Rabbuna yusahhil wa yunajjih lana insyaAllah!


p/s : need to live up to my name - As-sakinah..

Tuesday, June 05, 2012


rarely ever say this kind of things with siblings, but well, there is always exception and first time in everything :)

Growing up with them around, and being the only girl at that time, I’m always bullied (based on our childhood pictures lol) and somewhat did whatever you all did. Kita bancuh dan buat umpan kunyit sesama, gi memancing dan mandi sungai kat belakang kampung tu, main tuju guli sama2, buat mercun guna sparkplug( if I’m not wrong, that is its name) and funny enough, kita jugak memakai2kan patung kertas dgn dress kertas tu, bentuk2 plastesine, dan main bunga juga :P

Being teenagers, we grew up naughty together. Well, different severity of naughtiness, but we turn out better now ;) never been really close to any of you but we still keep in touch.  Being away from home and all, we grow closer together Alhamdulillah!

Too much memories we shared, and so many smiles drawn together!

me : sian along, mesti penat kan. tapi insyaAllah, Allah bg ganjaran yg sgt best nnt kat sana
himone: Ok je..power superman.

himtwo : kat hospital je pakai, lepas buat scan dlm machine mcm stargate tu xpakai dah
me: stargate eh? hihi. CT scan tu  dh wat ctscan, doctor ckp takde pape eh?
himtwo : xtau la dia ckp apa kat along. tgk gelung scan tu dok pusing2, mcm stargate je. slalu tgk dlm drama ja...

Himone :
Always ask him for help ;) you drove me all the way to Matrik Changlun last time when I didn’t have driving license yet. I still remember how you tried to comfort me when daddy was in hospital. You always come to pick me up at the airport during those midnight touchdowns. I still remember that one time when the plane arrived in the morning, you pick me up with kancil (what happen to it now eh? Hihi) and we went shopping straightaway. Patiently accompanied me shopping at midvalley, and then together went to shop for stuff in Low Yat Plaza. Original plan was to shop till evening, but by 12 something, we both were toooooo tired that during the drive back to opah’s place, we BOTH felt asleep (while you were DRIVING!) sampai2 di rumah opah, we ate like animals (due to synchronized song deep within lol) and right after, both of us collapsed and snored *grin* thanks for the vanilla perfume and lotion! And thanks for the countless shopping trips (IKEA, midval, Jusco, almost-Alamanda and many more) which I’m sure consumed a lot of patience on your side as a male with no gene for shopping :)

Himtwo :
We rarely spend time together, I know. But you are always the one who I call whenever I have some IT and tech related things to ask. You are awesome in that! :) of course I remember that day when you ride the KTM all the way from Shah Alam to Bank Negara just to take the laptop from me and to repair it. Himone told me how you slept very late (and even slept next to the laptop) trying to fix the laptop as I need it the next day! (thanks!) one thing I’m really sure about, is how much you love to play futsal. Even you are back in perlis for few days, you always find time to play futsal with your friends :) thanks for the treat at Kuala Perlis (after I bugged you so much about how you didn’t treat me on your first salary, im such a bad sister!) And that ice rink outing :) I’m sure you skate a lot of time before, thus you didn’t fall like I did on that slippery ice. Nevertheless, it was fun regardless of the after pain hihi. That day when I accidently make your sugarglider peed on your pants :S I’m so sorry about that!! You love sugargliders and you love shoes too! (or is it sneakers eh? Hihi) We should hang out more often!  Low Yat jom? 

That incidence two days ago, make me realize a lot of stuff. I know it is a test for us, for you especially, but we all are here for you, always. Syafakallah syifaan ajilan, syifaan la yughadiru ba'dahu saqaman!

What I learnt from that incidence is : (1) how amazing a mother’s love to her kids (2) memory is a nikmat and forgetfulness is also a nikmat (3) the bond between siblings, eventhough we rarely spend time with each other, is so strong and meaningful (4) Allah The Almighty always always with us.

I know I know, no mushy stuff right? Just one more thing - From your little sister, I want to say, I’m proud and thankful to Him for having you two as my brothers!

p/s jom tarik dan berpimpin sama2 ke syurgaNya, jom doa bnyk2 utk naikkan darjat ummi ayah di mata Allah, and jom sama2 menjadi hambaAllah yg bertakqwa so kita sekeluarga dpt bergembira bersama2 di taman syurga insyaAllah :)

Saturday, June 02, 2012

ahli syurga

been so long since I write anything here (really? ngee) not that I dont want to, but have no idea what to write! so many things happened these past few days, and so many emotion explored. ANYWAY! want to talk about something bigger, something better. any guess? :)


i'm pretty sure we all want to be there. the land with everything we could possibly imagine, and everything beyond our capacity to even think too! the most important thing is, meeting Allah The Almighty :) 

thinking of the torture of Hellfire, make us shudder with fear. hurm... *muhasabah mode*

Do you know, the first of mankind to enter Paradise will be our Prophet Muhammad SAW and the first ummah to enter Paradise will be his ummah? and the first member of this ummah to enter will be Abu Bakr as-Siddiq RA :)

so, people who enter Jannah are of 3 types : (1) those who enter Jannah without being called to account (2) those who enter Jannah after being brought to account and (3) those who enter Jannah after Hellfire *shudder*

Allah Allah Allah...


-- We don't deserve your awesome Jannah just by our ibadah and amal, for it is only by the Mercy of Allah that He grants us Jannah. O Lord, bestow upon us Your Mercy and Your Love and guide us all to You --

Sunday, May 20, 2012

midnight dotdot

 yesterday, skyped with opah, atuk, mak pa, mawar, sarah, daddy, picah, sarah, uncle danish

yup, more homesick, but I can't help but feel *Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah, thank You Allah for this blessing* :D

one thing that really hit *read : touch* me during that conversation is when my dad said to everyone there "oh, dia lagi sebulan balik. 24 atau 25 jun camtu smpai KL insyaAllah" *tearing* kerana, tarikh 24-25 tu, eventho sye gtau ayah ritu sbnrnya sbgai anggaran sahaja sbb jadual exam tak keluar lagi. tp sungguh, anak ini rasa sgt2 terharu when daddy remembers exactly that DATE. dont know about others, but saya, sang anak ini, terasa ayah sungguh tak sabar menanti sang anak ini pulang *deeply touched by my parents' love* (wlupun mungkin takdelah macam sye yg hari2 tgok kalender and kira berapa hari lagi nak balik, tapi.. boleh imagine tak, lebey kurang tu la) oh hati, sabarlah!

utk si dia, regardless of that drowsiness, the uncontrollable yawning, ehem2 *shyshy* I can feel the sweetness and happiness spending time with you ;) smbil membuat telur2 dinosaur itu ;)

p/s thanks kamu, kerana jadi temanku, duniya wal akhirah insyaAllah
pp/s tak tahu nape gambar ini mahu condong begitu

Tuesday, May 08, 2012


they are selling their car so they can send their kid to study abroad! the extend of what parents would do for their kids, MasyaAllah :)

yet, a lot of kids nowadays thank their parents by calling them once in 6 months, by being rude to them, or simply forgetting their root and behaving like anything they want!

p/s okay, makin homesick :S Allah..

Saturday, May 05, 2012

ukhuwah mereka

(this is a true story of a girl we shall call her M, and it is told from her point of view)

once upon a time, my mom and dad went to visit my grandma, since my grandma did fall in bathroom last weekend, but nothing serious. I stayed home to cook and take care of my little sisters who will come back from school in the afternoon. my sisters came home, and we didnt even get to have lunch yet when suddenly the phone rang, and it is our neighbour's mom, makcik J. She told me to get ready and pack for overnight stay for my sisters and parents in 15 minutes, as she will drive us to our grandma. with all the rush to get ready and pack, by the time I was sitting at the backseat of her car while his husband driving, my body still shaking from the information I barely had time to swallow. my grandma suddenly has spiking fever and gone unconscious.

we stopped at some restaurant for lunch, and nextdoor shop to buy toothbrushes (while rushing, i forgot everyone's toothbrush). the journey from our home to grandma's place is 2 hours drive. when we arrive at my grandma's house, my mom was waiting for us, since my dad had followed the ambulance to nearby private hospital (since government hospital didnt want to send their ambulance, for some reason i'm not sure of). my mom told makcik J about the situation and everything, then his husband drive us all to the hospital.

we had to wait till around 10pm before they allow us to see our grandma. by that time, she is half-awake with IV line and drugs attached to her wrist. I can see in my mom's and dad's face how tired and drained they are, i'm sure physically and emotionally as well. makcik J talked softly to my grandma for a while, i waited outside with my sisters.

I think it was around 11 something that makcik J and my parents discuss and decided that my parents will drive home to get some rest and bring us home, while makcik J and her husband will stay with my grandma. the next day, my dad went early in the morning to visit my grandma, alone, to arrange the transfer and everything. my mom brought us to grandma in the evening. alhamdulillah, after a week admitted in hospital, my grandma fully recover.


Friday, April 27, 2012

let's count His blessings

"     know that Allah is with u. kdg2 Allah sengaja menjadikan kita sedih sooo easily supaya hati kita syg sgt sgt sgt pada Allah shj. He loves u, more than others do. subhanallah     "

subhanallah alhamdulillah Allahuakbar

started my day with confusion, climate at the sadness, and then go way beyond AMAZEMENT by the time when the length of the shadow of an object exceeds the length of the object.

astaghfirullah astaghfirullah astaghfirullah. my ignorance blinded me from His LOVE, His LOVE for me THAT big, THAT deep.

truly, human WILL disappoint you, abandon you, hurt you, betray you, forget you and dismiss you. and Allah never ever disappoint, abandon, hurt, betray, forget nor dismiss you.

p/s thanks Allah for LOVING me, and thanks for sending me true friends (duniya wal akhirat insyaAllah)
pp/s Syifaa and Raihaana, mari berpimpin tangan ke syurgaNya :)

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


'sebelum kita teruskan dgn pengisian hari ni, mari sama2 kita perbetulkan niat kenapa kita berada di sini Lillahi Ta'ala' *rolling eyes* do you all still remember those moments at the very beginning of each usrah, or daurah, or katibah, or simple sharing? have you ever wonder why people keep on saying that? (to be honest, I used to. alhamdulillah Allah made me wonder no more :) )

when you really ponder on that, then only you will know the big meaning behind it. before I share anything about that, here a short story (very very short) for us :)

remember how Saidina Umar always always refresh his niat with his every step? the end (told ya it is a short story)

why is that? why the need of refreshing your niat every moment? BECAUSE our qalb is never still, whatever within it is easily changed. had experience one moment you want to eat banana, the next you settle for a big bucket of ice cream? with everything happening around us, our qalb can be flipped back and forth upon anything! thus it is a NEED to always recheck our niat.

honestly, it is very hard to make a firm niat Lillahi Taa'a, agree? what i mean by that is, our intention easily deviated from that ULTIMATE AIM - ALLAH. maybe your niat is not totally against that. for example I want to drive my sister to school. my niat that time could be to help my parents, or to ease my sister's journey, or to spend my free time with something better, who knows. to quote a friend 'semua niat tuh, niat second class'. don't forget our uttermost PURPOSE of creation, for HIM :)

Imam Nawawi placed hadith regarding niat as the first hadith in the book. everything BEGIN with niat. it is a total lost if we do anything not because of Him. He wants to reward us with our doing, but we neglect that opportunity by forgetting that most important part - NIAT. if at the very beginning, our intention is already messed up, the rest wont be a smooth sailing. until and unless you have a correct map, you will be totally lost in the sea. and every now and then, check and recheck your map so that you know you are heading to the right direction.

in whatever we do, be it just a shower, or putting on our hijab, or our daily sleep, Lillahi Taa'la. we lose nothing, and gain a lot insyaAllah. 

alhamdulillah for His tarbiyah. and this post is mostly to remind myself :) when my niat was deviated, He withheld what i want so that I recheck and reflect my truly intention. Allahuakbar. Allah, guide me to stay in this right path, and please protect me from syaitan's distraction.

Lets place our niat toward Allah!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

paradise jannah

dan, Allah atur dalam kekelamkabutan dan kesegeraan bersiap utk musafir mengejut itu, Allah sediakan tarbiyah yang teratur utk kami..

started from early in the morning, I asked around if anyone is free to accompany me to go there. and happenly, no one is free that very evening. I tried to plan a way around it, a way to still go there eventhough no one is free.. but by 4 pm, I finally accepted the fact that it is not meant to be. so showered and just resting in my room, suddenly my friend came to take her containers. and everything happen so quickly. Jannah want to accompany me after asking me for a good reason why I want to go there, and Fatin encouraging us to come in the background (laptop).by 630 we called the car, and by 7pm, the car was here!

like she said 'tarbiyah Allah di mana2, berbeza2 pada setiap individu'.

situation I : while both of us staring at the same windmills, one which stand still, and another one which all the blades are turning at full speed.
N1 : jika semua orang berlari ke arah Allah, semua akan mendapat fikrah yang sama :)
N2 : even angin pun tunduk dan patuh pada Allah, bila Allah arah jangan bertiup, takde satu pun bilah yg bergerak, and bila Allah suruh bertiup, berputar2 sang kipas2 gergasi. malu dengan angin..

situation II : one fine morning, suddenly two long consecutive vibrations.. (earthquake felt in Karad..)
N1 : jika lah ketika itu, kita sibuk melakukan atau memikirkan selain Allah, alangkah ruginya kita, tambahan jika Allah memilih utk menarik nyawa kita ketika itu.
N2 : terasa bagai Allah menggoncang qalb itu utk kembali kepadaNya

just want to share 99:1

anyhow, moga ibrah2 yg dikutip menjadi tarbiyah diri insyaAllah

p/s jazakillah buat Fatin dan Jannah ;)
pp/s had a great time in Karad with her :))

Monday, April 09, 2012

A for Allah

in the middle of memorizing medicine facts and drugs prior to exam, when books are everywhere and everything is ......

suddenly spontaneously I wrote that in between my exam-note. and happenly my friend is there and she read that and start smiling.. ngeee

truly, today I feel it, that feeling. that LOVE :)


thanks my friend for sharing that ayat with me ;)