bliss

A long due post I'm sure. I'm not writing this for others, but I want to carve the garden within me ^.^

Staring at the hotel ceiling, I can feel the warm beads of water trickling down my cheeks. Not out of sadness, but gratitude InsyaAllah

Lots of thing happened in these short few months. The amount of Allah's blessing received drives me speechless and shocking enough, subhanallah, He is indeed, The Most Gracious Most Merciful. Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah

Let's go stepwise and praise Allah along the way ;)

Alhamdulillah, I survived final year, with a little too much easement. Cliche? Nope! He was there the whole way, guiding and helping me endlessly. I'm not saying final year it's a walk in the park, but He made it livable. At times I feel suffocated with the pressure all around, but soon after, there is the sun, brighter than ever.

Subhanallah Wa bihamdihi subhanallah hil a'zim. I passed my final exam with tremendous amount of His love. I could never ever imagine the outcome better than what He had given me. With all the hassles between books and planning, my mind is blown away by the result, honest. That moment when my friend whatsapp me picture of the result, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Lots of thanks to my parents and siblings for all the support throughout this tough 4 years! This one is for you - Umi and ayah!!

not to forget, Dila, thanks! you had been such a wonderful friend throughout! and thanks for cooking everyday during my exam time!!! cant thank you enough :') thanks dear, may Allah repay you with His Jannah!

And and and. Alhamdulillah, thank You Allah. The ceremony and the walimah went smoothly. Yes, I've change my status alhamdulillah. For this, I thank my Umi and ayah for making this possible. Was quite sudden, no no, was so sudden hihi. Thanks much for being so supportive, for arranging everything and mostly, for loving me endlessly. Words can't describe how much I love you two :') Not to forget, thank you abi and Umi for everything :) feel deeply blessed alhamdulillah.

For those who had been asking me
 about how I known my husband and how we've met and blablabla, to be honest, not really sure how to answer those questions. And those who asked for pictures, please do message me personally because I'm not a big fan of uploading pictures to public :) and thanks all for the wishes and duaa. Please pray for us!

In a week, I got two titles - Mrs and Dr. alhamdulillah

So, that's most of it. Lot more to share but have to run. Got to go play in the rain, not that I got to do out everyday kan hihi. It's pouring rain here in Seoul. Still waiting for it to stop so I can walk around :)

final countdown

this is it.

the dreading 4 years leading to this moment. it is nerve wrecking, but at the same time, I'm looking forward to it. why? eheh, not going to say it now, may be when the result is out :) 8 subjects, 1 month.

I hope I'll survive this. and I sincerely pray, O Allah, please help me, guide me, ease the way.

do pray for me yeah!

sweet Honey

:)

shocking enough, i'm out of word the moment I wanted to write this post.

to my dearest Hanisah,
you are one great friend. I'm indeed blessed to know you and the fact that we are BFF (till Jannah insyaAllah) just blows me away.

come to think again on how we started our friendship, it was a funny position. but even back then, when I was alone in that depressing (well, for me kan? hihi) land, you were there for me. all those letters we mailed (including those written DURING exam lol), the phone calls, and dates we had together, always always make me smile.

yes, we dont share as much moments as people might think. and we dont spend as much time as we want to. but to be honest, I cherish each second because somehow, you always know what so say, or what to do, and how to make me love you even more ;) and even when we are miles away, (and the countless failed phonecalls lol) that never push us apart.

I still remember the tears when you told me you are getting married. I was so over the moon happy for you. the realization of my sad luck that I couldn't be with you on your special day was a spoiler. and I know you know we both wish that I will be there for you.

my deepest apology for my absence. but dear, I promise you I wish nothing more but Allah's blessing showers you here and hereafter. may Allah guides the bait muslim you are building. and and and, to your husband-to-be, please do take good care of her and make her fall in love with Allah every day!

Baraka Allahu Lakuma wa baraka alikuma wa jamaah baina kuma fee khair

darling, be a good wife, be a great wife, be extraordinary, be magnificent!

p/s I love you.
Nadia.

3 weeks marathon

-ok, gambar buruk hihi-

not sure what to write, but it was shocking and moving at the same time, how blessed I am by the strength and guidance from Him. thank You Allah for the smooth sail of 3 weeks. preparation for the upcoming battle - Final exam!

will put up the schedule soon as i had promised my brother lol. btw, syafakallah!! cepat sembuh yeee ;)

~ Life can throw me curve balls, lemons or a big rock, for all I know, I will light up my cannon and hit it harder each time. because. I have Allah in my life ~

3 months

I can't believe I am where I am today.
Mark the ground I'm standing now.
For it is an achievement of dignity.
Alhamdulillah, All Praises due to Allah.

I'm strong. I can do this *tears roll down the cheeks*
I believe this time, it signifies my strength.
It represents something bigger.
Alhamdulillah, All Praises due to Allah.

I whisper to my little heart - I sincerely hope last Ramadhan will bring wonderful light to this coming Ramadhan, insyaAllah!

اللهم بارك لنا فى رجب وشعبان وبلغنا رمضان

 Allahumma barik lana fi Rajab wa Sha'ban wa balighna Ramadhan

when you are in love

you can't help but smile to those silly things
you blossom each time you hear their voice
you will cry when someone else is hurting your love
inevitably you will do whatever it takes to see their smile
the very thought of them make your heart bounces
you do not mind being in blood, sweat and tears to ease their burden
and you will give anything and everything just to be in their arms again

:)
don't you agree with me on this? ;)

love does exist, first loves are not imaginary.
I have been and will always be in love with my mom and dad, since the first time I laid my tiny eyes on them.

one word - magical.
alhamdulillah

And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. (31:14)

p/s happy mother's day mi! thank you so very much, for everything. may Allah grant you His Paradise :)

(teringin nak dengar cerita2 comel of your parents too hihi)

coexist

-why the books are thick or why my fingers are long?-

random thoughts

~ really wish I can go back for my dearest friend's wedding

~ frenzy craze on shawl and scarf

~ I have no idea where is my appetite!

~ things are complicated when you get headache just looking at it :P

~ exam but not exam, great! :)

~ life is always complicated

if you are looking for fairness, you are barking at the wrong tree. Fair does not exist in this world, because if it does, then no one will look forward for the great Paradise :)

Seven under the shade of Allah

The Prophet said,
“There are seven whom Allah ill shade in His Shade on the Day when there is no shade except His Shade: a just ruler; a youth who grew up in the worship of Allah, the Mighty and Majestic; a man whose heart is attached to the mosques; two men who love each other for Allah’s sake, meeting for that and parting upon that; a man who is called by a woman of beauty and position [for illegal intercourse], but be says: ‘I fear Allah’, a man who gives in charity and hides it, such that his left hand does not know what his right hand gives in charity; and a man who remembered Allah in private and so his eyes shed tears”
Narrated by Abu Hurairah & collected in Sahih al-Bukhari (english trans.) vol.1, p.356, no.629 &Sahih Muslim english trans.) vol.2, p.493, no.2248)

to explain each of the seven, it is quite lengthy. but I would like to share here an interesting article I found from SuhaibWebb regarding this topic.
 
1. A just ruler
The concept of Justice is a fundamental tenant in Islam and it is something that every Muslim – Ruler and the ruled – must apply in all matters without exception.
Justice means to give each the right he or she deserves, Muslim or non-Muslim, relative or stranger, friend or enemy. Allah says: “…And do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just; that is nearer to righteousness”.   (Qur’an, 5:8)
Unfortunately, even if we accept this in theory, we often forget it in practice. So we find that when we speak about our friends and loved ones, we praise them beyond reason and when we speak about those whom we hold difference with, we can find no good in them and we just capitalize on their bad points. This is far removed from the justice which Allah gives great reward for, as mentioned in the following hadith: “The doers of justice will be on thrones of light at Allah’s Right Hand – and both of Allah’s Hands are Right Hands” (Sahih Muslim). These deserving believers were just in their Ruling, with their families and in all that over which they were given authority. Whenever we are given authority over another group of people, whether politically or otherwise, if we are just, then we can hopefully be given shade in the Throne of Allah.

2. A youth who grew up in the worship of Allah
Another interesting hadith of Rasulullah ﷺ comes to mind,
“Take advantage of five matters before five other matters: your YOUTH before you become old; and your health, before you fall sick; and your richness, before you become poor; and your free time before you become busy; and your life, before your death.” (Narrated by Imam Ahmad])
Shaykh Yaser Birjas said in a khutbah: “Youthfulness is a time when a person is the most energetic, when he lays out the foundations for his future, and when he plans his life. So the Prophet ﷺ said to take advantage of this time before the time comes when you do not have that enthusiasm, when you do not have that zeal, or that outlook. The enthusiasm and energy that you have been blessed with will never again be given to you after this age. Therefore, the Prophet ﷺ said to seize the moment and take advantage of it. A person should exercise this energy for the sake of Allah by procuring knowledge of Allah, obtaining halal sustenance, and worshipping Allah through acts that he might not be able to do later on in life.”
Moreover, this young age is a time when desires are more, and the will for action, whether good or bad, is stronger. The mind is rebellious and the temptations of the Shaytan at maximum. The one who does his part in restraining himself/herself and obeys Allah surely deserves the shade under the throne of Allah.

3. A man whose heart is attached to the mosques
Numerous hadith of the Prophet ﷺ mention the various benefits of going to the masaajid of Allah. Praying in the mosque has 27 times more reward than praying in homes [Bukhari and Muslim]. Also the Prophet ﷺ said,
“He does not take a step [towards the mosque] except that because of it, he is raised by one rank and one sin is removed from him. Then when he prays, the Angels do not cease supplicating for him [for] as long as he remains at his place of Prayer [saying]: ‘O Allah send blessings upon him, O Allah have mercy upon him’…” (Bukhari)
It must be emphasized here that all the ahadith encouraging an attachment to the mosques are not intended to imply that Islam is a deen confined to the places of worship, as many people imagine. Nonetheless, the mosque should be at the heart of the Muslim community, and the role of those in authority of the mosques is vital here. They are the ones mainly responsible for making the mosque a welcome refuge for the Muslims, rather than an arena for politics and power struggles.

4. Two men who love each other for Allah’s sake, meeting for that and parting upon that.
Having mutual love for the sake of Allah is one of the great doors leading to the good of the Hereafter and a way of tasting the sweetness of iman in this world. Loving one another for Allah’s sake means that the Muslim does not love another except for the correctness of his deen. So it does not matter what the person looks like, what he wears, how rich or poor he is, where he comes from, or what the color of his skin is – perhaps you dislike everything about him, but you love him for his iman: this is loving another for Allah’s sake.
“Allah, the Mighty and Magnificent says: ‘Those who have mutual love for the sake of My Glory will have pillars of light and will be envied by the Prophets and martyrs.” (at-Tirmidhi and Imam Ahmad)

5. A man who is tempted by a woman of beauty and position but he says, “I fear Allah”
The same reward is given for a woman tempted by a man and she says “I fear Allah”.
This world is full of temptations which, if indulged, lead to burning in the Fire.  Amongst these temptations is that which comes from men and women who exploit their sexuality. Many a man has led his soul into destruction on account of the lure of a woman which is why the Prophet ﷺ warned his Ummah specifically about this.
To protect ourselves from temptations is to have fear (khawf) of Allah. This fact is alluded to in the following Qur’anic ayah:
“And as for him who feared standing before his Lord and restrained himself from impure evil desires, verily Paradise will be his abode.”  (79:40-41).

6. A man who gives in charity and hides it, such that his left hand does not know what his right hand gives in charity

This part shows two qualities that should be the hallmark of every Muslim. Firstly, charity. We should be so generous in giving charity that we forget the amount of charity we have given. Have you ever wondered why the ones who give charity never become poor? A great example for us lies in Shaykh Suleiman ar-Rajhi, founder of the Ar-Rajhi bank in Saudi Arabia, who gives away millions in charity and still makes a profit.
Another point is that when we give charity it should be in secret. The early generations of the Muslims used to give charity so secretly that even their wives didn’t know. Riyaa, showing off in worship, is the hidden shirk. It destroys all blessings of a good deed, and makes it null and void, as it is done to show off to the people and not for the sake of Allah. Although sharing our charitable deeds is good motivation for others, we should be very careful of our intentions insha’Allah.

7. A man who remembered Allah in private and shed tears
Another amazing reminder from the Qur’an comes to mind when I hear this part,
”Has not the time come for those who believe that their hearts tremble at the remembrance of Allah, and that which has been revealed of the truth?” (57:16)
Oh my brothers and sisters, when was the last time we cried for the sake of Allah? When was the last time that we turned our faces to Allah in secret, and our eyes overflowed with tears remembering every sin that we committed day and night? Did we ever cry thinking of the immense Mercy of Allah, all the blessings He has bestowed upon us?
This hadith mentions crying in secret, as it is common place to cry publicly when the Imam makes du`a. The fear of showing-off remains here, and hence the one who cries in secret will be given shade under the Throne of Allah, because he/she is absolutely depending on Allah.

If you contemplate about the seven groups of people whom Allah will shade with His Throne, you will find that they deserved that shade because of their opposition to their inner desires. Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala  (exalted is He) is the only One to be petitioned to grant us protection from our harmful desires, and that He makes our desires in accordance with what He loves and is acceptable to Him. He has power over all things, and He is most worthy of answering our petition.

May Allah indeed enable us to be among those whom He shades under His Throne on a day when there is no shade but His shade.

ameen ameen ameen ya Rabb!

http://www.suhaibwebb.com/personaldvlpt/worship/charity/in-the-shade-of-the-throne-2/

kelelahan

hurm..
jarang rasanya
keluarkan apa yang ada dalam hati..

tak apa lah Nadia
belajarlah dari kehidupan

sungguh
penat lah menanti manusia
penat sangat

berkawanlah
tetapi janganlah lupa
janganlah nanti
diri yang hilang

perlulah lebih kuat
dan kurangkanlah bergantung pada manusia
yakin hanya pada Dia
hanya pada Dia
yang lain-lain hanyalah maya

berdikarilah
berdirilah dengan sendiri
berdirilah dengan sendiri

(it is in pieces, and I'm not planning to express it into a sensible whole)

inlove

A : ayah aku azankan dua-dua sebab abang aku tak sempat sampai lagi time tu
B : oh?
A : tak tahu napa, rasa sweet sangat (dengan mata berkaca-kaca (read sparkling))
B : may be kau rasa camtu, sebab you are in love dengan ayah kau. tapi since dia dah kahwin, maybe dia rasa lagi sweet klu husband dia yang azankan anak dia kot. tak rasa camtu ke?

A and B look at each other, a temporary silence before they burst into synchronized laughter.

A : tak tahuuuu, tak kahwin lagi

again, laughter fills the space

^^^
katanya, sakit itu penghapus dosa. tapi tak boleh la merungut (heh :P)

bila sakit2 ni, mula lah homesick yg berpanjangan. mula lah rindu mahu bermanja-manja dengan si ibu. maka dengan itu, mula lah melihat-lihat tiket kapal terbang walaupun takde cuti sebenarnya (pastu rasa nak pengsan melihat harga tiket yg sungguh 'murah' itu)

oh Nadia, anda haruslah kuat! Allah :)

my 1.5 years

i dont know what brought it up, but today I'm dragged back to that memory. wow, come to think of it, that was a lot of tears. haih.

i was bad back then.
was totally a different person
one mistake that I let it ruin my whole time there.
one mistake that haunt me through careless tongues

regardless of the tears and pain
i learnt a lot.
how to be a human
how to behave
how to be strong
how to be better
still lots to improve, but alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah

those that i somehow hurt, misbehaved or simply anything
my sincere apology.

to those who helped me thro it
apartment depan that always welcome me
my parents who always been there on the other side of dreadful phone calls
the frequent visit to my grandparents and relatives
my sincere gratitude :)

browsing thro my folder, some pictures of the past...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

firework

 - no picture because brain is all over the wall -

when you stuff 500 pages in 3 hours, you will definitely get a headache!

and when will you realize that? when it takes you another hour to finish the next 100 pages, and 2 hours to finish the next 50 pages lol

robbuna yusahhil :)

wasp

WASP, not whatsapp ye :P

Dear wasp,
thanks for stinging me today. you are such a small creature, yet masyaAllah, the pain you cause was mind blowing! I wonder what I did that made you angry at me, but I'm sorry if I did something that bug you.

Sincerely,
Swollen little finger.

*okay, am I losing it? heh.*

kata ayah, takpe lah sakit. Allah nak bagi kurang dosa tu.

alhamdulillah :)

and somehow, it made me think. Little thing -> big impact. Oh I so want to be that little human who can contribute a wonderful positive impact for Islam, biiznillah!

*miss mom much*

an eye for an eye

thinking that no one reads this blog, I sometimes tend to rumble a lil too much, or tend to neglect it to the extent of a haunted house *gulp*

exam again next week, and well, sick again. is it becoming a trend now? last time during 1st internal exam, I got fever and cold. and today I woke up with a sore throat... please oh please Allah, give me health and most importantly blessed health :)

alhamdulillah, I'm not that stressed out with all. I can't say I'm not stressed, but it is more under control that how I used to be for the past 3 years heh! thanks mom and dad (and everyone) who always pray for me :)

p/s yes, I am a family person. I'm sorry if I annoy any of you with it, but can't and won't change who I am for anyone else, but Him :)

Normally, I don't get angry easily, and I seldomly ever lose my temper. but sadly last week (astaghfirullah) the bad side of me showed up and I lashed out on people (not random people okay) Allah! Forgive me for my outburst. I need to nurture the patience within me more indeed!

 And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous. Who spend [in the cause of Allah ] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good

 3:133-134

*breath in breath out* so Nadia, please be good to yourself and to others, always! Allah LOVES the doers of good ;)

Speak

post mortem

have you ever seen that movie (what movie??) i mean, any movie, that shows the postmortem thingy?
having that in your mind, have you ever think how it will feel if it is done on you (alive, with sensation and everything??)


with that feeling in mind, all I want to say is (as reminder for myself mainly), do take care when you want to give advice, or express your opinion and critics to someone. sometimes, maybe that person need your advice, maybe that person deserve the critics, but always take care of your words. for you maybe your choice of words are perfectly fine, but for the listener....... I don't mean that you have to sugar-coat every word, but try your best to speak words of kindness. empathy, keep that in mind all the time. please.

Abû Hurayrah relates that Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak a good word or remain silent. And whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should show hospitality to his neighbor. And whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should show hospitality to his guest.” [ Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim ]

that is all I can say. I really hope I can apply this in my daily life, biiznillah.
wallahu'alam.

*forgive me for my flaws, forgive me for my mistakes*

crooked wave

On the authority of Abu Al-Abbas ‘Abdullah bin ‘Abbass (RA), who said: “One day I was behind the Prophet (SAW) [riding on the same mount] and he said to me: “Young man, I shall teach you some of words [of advice]: Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of Allah; If you seek help, seek help of Allah. Know that if the Nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that Allah had already prescribed for you, and that if they gather together to harm you with anything, they would harm you only with something Allah had already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.” [at-Tirmidy]

Conservative posting sgtlah mencabar dn memenatkan, mental dn fizikal. and sgt2 bersyukur bila dh habis posting nih. struggle sgt nk cari patient, nk dpt patient, and roadblock bila nk wat patient... even dgn sume tu, alhamdulillah, dpt jgk habisknn quota utk composite and dpt patient utk end posting juge. alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah. tak boleh nak describe perasaan, hari end posting tu, punya lah nervous takut cikgu reject case yg dpt (tanya PG utk case tu) sbb simple sgt, tp alhamdulillah Allah mudahkan je, even baru initial caries, even takde adjacent tooth, and siap boleh fill dgn composite lagi (sepatutnya amalgam lah kan?) and habis je viva dgn cikgu, terasa sgt2 lah lega. hanya Allah yg tahu perasaan time tu. tak boleh henti senyum :D

harap2, at the end of the day, quota tu xde la strick sgt... and dia consider and kira extracted teeth jge.. bukan tanak buat patient, tp susah sgt nak cari patient... especially yg ada Class II. Allah, lembutkn hati dia pleaseee...

when the surrounding is unfavorable, He, Allah, is The One who help me and make this journey smooth (I'm not saying it is free of obstacle, but by Allah's grace, I can smile and deeply thankful, for everything). His love, His help, His power! may Allah make this coming 6 months a smooth sail.


Subhanallah Alhamdulillah Allahuakbar (:

sakit rumah?

as I'm very very familiar with homesickness (LOL), I can conclude that the MAXIMUM homesickness occurs at two occasions :
1) the very moment when you arrive in the foreign country ie India
2 ) exam season

just my two cents (:

event 1
Me : kenapa ayah suka panggil picah 'hasqiyah'?
Picah : mana la picah tau
Me : la, kenapa lak picah tak tahu?
Picah : dah tak tahu, nak wat camne..
Me : kena la tahuuuu
Picah : nak wat camne.... cikgu tak ajar yg tu kat sekolah la..

event 2
mom : esok kambing tu masak lauk apa?
dad : kambing masak rossss
mom : sbbnya Taufiq kata kalau ada kambing golek, dia nak amik cuti esok
dad : kambing masak rossss. tapi kalau kambing tu jatuh atas tanah, ada la kambing golek!
me : erk!

event 3
Picah : nenek nenek si bongkok tiga, siang mengantuk malam berjaga, mencari cucu di mana ada, nenek ku kahwin dgn anak raja..
Sarah : anak gajah??!
Picah : anak raja la!
Me : nenek mana kahwin dgn anak gajah lak ni?!

event 4
Picah : Sarah, tadi ada nenek tu lalu depan tuuu
Sarah : nenek? nenek mana?
Me : Sarah tak tahu nenek mana?!
Sarah : nenek mana?
Me : nenek yang kahwin dgn anak gajah tu!

p/s bnyk lagi rasanya yg mahu diabadikan, tp sbb kepala cam pusing2, so tak berapa nak boleh recall.. next time perhaps..