carving wax

around so many people
i feel standed
alone on this unknown fairy tale
struggling to wake up
and find my soulmate

just few words, that only certain people ( i really do mean certain people ) who really understand it. or maybe nobody will.

so long didnt update here. i got a lot of free time for now since the classes not starting yet, but somehow, i cant find the time, or the word to write. it just things happen, and its so complicated. i know, things actually are so simple, i make it complicated. but the truth, may be i dont want it to be simple, coz then, i knew how much it is a burden rather than joy.

india, things getting a little progress. bought most of my book, learnt how to carve a love shape and book lol, start cooking on my own, paid my hostel and so on. oh, i had stop eating at mess hall...

i miss my dad and my mom, i miss home, i miss the Merz that i drive everywhere and i scratched it, i miss my bed where i put everything on it, i miss my siblings whom i fight a lot with, i miss my friends who hug me so much, i miss shopping mall in malaysia where i can enjoy my very hobby of shopping, i miss food in malaysia where i can eat without limit, i miss everything. its not that before this i didnt appreciate all that, indeed, i enjoy all of them as much as i can coz i knew how much they r the best things in the world. i knew it already. just, now being away, i miss it.

mommy and daddy, i miss u all so much. looking forward to go back for summer holiday k!

elepanda, thanks for always being here for me, i miss u sooo very much. and looking forward for our next 'date'.

hanisah and husna, i wish im there with u both, coz i love u two so much, and it is very hard being away from both of u. i miss u guys so much. and thanks, for always loving me and let me be myself, and share with me.

to friends that i didnt mention ur name, u knew how much u had help me, and how much i appreciate it. huggz for u all.

till then, i'll write again soon..

india

Flying with MAS, my first time actually, and it was so nice.. thanks Cik Cam for making my journey a lot nicer!! I had a nice long sleep all the way to Bangalore, right after i had the meal.. haha. the meal was ok I guess.... the sleep was so nice, i wish the flight was longer lol. arriving at Bangalore, it was pass 2am Malaysia time (MT), which is why we were so sleepy! By the time we settle everything and arrived at the resort we were staying, its 4am MT. Slept right away!

The next morning, wake up at 7.30am India time (IT), then had breakfast at 8am. The breakfast was ok, but the chicken quite spicy, for me. Then, heading to airport again, taking another flight to Hubli with a small plane. Im not sure about the name, but its small, and scary. The journey is around an hour, but because of the shaking and vibrating all that, i was sooo dizzy. Huhu. Then another hour journey by bus to Belgaum. Was ok...

Arriving at JNMC, I had lost track of the time. I keep on getting confused IT with MT (bcoz i didn’t change my mobile phone’s time yet! Haha) the different is 2 and half hours. Was so tired during the first day, with the unpacking (27kg of stuff, very tired to carry around!), then taking the registration form and so on. We were suppose to go out with seniors and have dinner outside together, but then the warden didn’t allow us to go out with senior ( to be exact, the warden didn’t allow us to even see the seniors) because she scared the seniors will rag us (who will rag us exactly???) the seniors were eager to help but then...... so we have to stay in our room.... hurm...

The food here is ok, but i don’t have any appetite to eat here. I eat when i only need to. A lot of money been spent because have to buy a lot of thing. So far, we had register for the university and college, open the bank account, buy some stuff. We still didn’t register for hostel, buy medical appliances, medical books. oh, the most i cant forget here is the hiv test. at least at malaysia, i drive myself to get the injection and all, but in india, can u believe, i bought the syringe and the needle and give to the guy to poke me!!! and now, on my table, there is a dissection set! anyone want me to dissect ur body?

For the time being, we are having orientation, and lotsa shopping! Waaa, im running out of money. And i miss my family and friends!!! I want internet!!!

Went to do my Punjabi suit, it was ok. Went by ourself since the senior cant even talk to us, we managed to arrive at the place safely, wif a little screaming on the road lol (trust me, if u ever need to cross the road here, u will scream too!) i ordered 5 suits of Punjabi suit, which cost me around IR2200 for the sewing and the material. Its ok i guess...

Last nite i managed to talk to my dad!!! So nice.... miss home.

so gentle

went for my hepatitis A vaccination today! was a little painful and lots of fear as usual, but what i like is, the doctor, he was so gentle and kind. i love this kind of doctor. thanks Doc!!

so, i got my luggage, i tried to start packing, and miracle happen! i cant fit everything inside the luggage lol (everyone could had guess that i cant fit my stuff inside any luggage coz they know how much i like to bring lotsa stuff lol) and now im gonna figure out how to fir everything.. and later worry about how to carry all the damn heavy luggages by myself :((

so, gotta go. pray for me.

vaccine

its been a long time since i wrote truly about my feeling, and im not gonna do that now either. all i can conclude is im now in a state of hormone imbalance.

progressing, so far i did
1. check for my immunity level
2. got typhoid and 1st Hep B vaccination
3. some shopping
4. chose which laptop bag to bring
5. called the officer
and some other little things.

for now, the hardest for me is doing this without my best friends. and all my friend seem to fade away during the time i really need them. hurm....

my next plan
1. go get the vitamins
2. 1st Hep A vaccination
3. get my luggage
4. find sport shoes and black shoes
5. transfer all my movies into external hard disk

pray for me.

moderation

there is no more moderation. everything is going on full speed. people gone missing, my bestfriends disappear, fear getting stronger, hormone imbalance, money usage. for short, EVERYTHING!

so far, I made the cookies. i also settled things wid my scholar. seen de doctor about immunization which was very tiring and will be more... wish i can really tell someone about it... anyway, thanks much Azan! love you.

=my tomorrow's plan=
1. typhoid vaccination
2. shopping
3. call the officer

im not sure how and when, but so far, im holding strong settling all these. even i did lose my temper yesterday when the hospital really pissed me off. or not really the hospital but the ******. i was super extremly pissed and tired and hungry yesterday till i cried. huhu

pray for me.