My Superman and Superwoman

SUPERWOMAN
at the first sight, you might think she is strict and serious. the truth, she is! :) but, on top of that, she is just a great woman :D she never fails to make us laugh, together, despite of whatever people might say. seeing her talking to that little kid, somehow i can see the love radiating so strongly. at times you might not see it, but the love and care she has for us, just sky high. the strength that she possess, won't give you any clue about the hidden back ache, or ear ache. within all the limitation, she always get things done, thoroughly.

I remember one time, we had hamsters as pets. she didnt really approve it. but she was the one who put the blanket on the hamsters when it was raining and cold outside.

she always make sure, however short or hectic my holiday is (even when she is not feeling well ) that I have all what I need and what I want. She asked me ' what else you want to eat before going back to India?' at that time, I became speechless, trying to swallow my tears. once, she wasn't feeling well and we arrived home very2 late (we barely had 3 hours sleep before I had to go to the airport for India ) and when I wake up, there it is, the thing I had been looking for all holiday, placed in my luggage.

she was so understanding when I told her about my feelings. supportive too :) i was so nervous before I told her, thinking too much as I always do, but when I told her and she is so open and understanding... :D and nowadays, I share with her, almost everything :) Alhamdulillah, nowadays the thought of having our so-called-gossip session make me smile, wide.

MY SUPERMAN
his patience, you will never know his worry, pain nor sadness in his face. he might be carrying 2-3 heavy luggage and yet, not a single word of complain came out of his mouth. masyaAllah I wish I have patience as much as he does. with his constant date with Him in the morning, I'm sure that is how he got it :)

he never stop putting smiles on us, even on her :) even years passed by, thinking about those moments, always bring back smile on my face. at times, other people might not understand why we are laughing, but who cares! we know and we laugh :)

his advices may be strict, he is very particular about our prayer and relationship with Allah, but when it comes to daily life, he always has fun with us. you can talk to him about anything, from opinion on what to present to my mad'u, marriage, to the latest gadget in the market.

regardless of his education or his occupation, I always see him 'backstage' at neighbors' walimah slumming. he also wasn't afraid nor shy ( like any of his kids will ) to do something, anything.


together, they perfectly complete each other. i cant even describe in words how they are meant for each other :)

one particular period of time, when my eyes were opened wide of their love to me, was when I was in Klang. ( yes, it might be a black history of me giving up on something, but that period of time made me who I am today )I  will never forget the daily call I made, daily letter I wrote and the almost-every-weekend trip they made for me, all the way. since then, alhamdulillah, I always see their love regardless of the situation.

im not saying all these because their are my parents. im saying this because they are truly my SUPERMAN and SUPERWOMAN. thanks Allah for giving me such wonderful parents, and thanks mom and dad, for loving me so much! im sorry if i were not the best kid, but i promise (to myself and to you) that i will always always try my best to be a solehah daughter.

p/s : cant forget the warmness of their hugs, the smiles on their face.
pp/s : still in that homesick phase

heart deals

the way Allah bestows His Love upon us :

Say, "If you should love Allah , then follow me, [so] Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful." (3:31)

Indeed, those who have believed and done righteous deeds - the Most Merciful will appoint for them affection. (19:96)

“When Allah loves a person, He calls out to Jibreel: ‘Allah loves So and so,’ so Jibreel loves him. Then Jibreel calls out to the people of heaven, ‘Allah loves So and so, so love him.’ So the people of heaven love him and he finds acceptance on earth" [Al-Bukhaari (3209) and Muslim (2637)]

how? another Love that He bestows upon us, His LOVE LETTER to us. He guides us every single way :D

who are those whom Allah loves?
1. the charitable
"...and do good (to others) ; surely Allah loves the doers of good" (2:195)

2. the repentant
"...Truly Allah loves those who turn to Him in repentance” (2:222)

3. the righteous (Taqwa)
“...Surely, Allah loves al – Muttaqeen. " (9:4)

4. the believer ( Al-Mutawakileen)
“...Allah loves those who put their trust in Him.” (3:159)

5. Al-Muqsiteen (Justice)
“...Verily, Allah loves those who acts justly.” (5:42)

6. the patient ( As-Sabirun)
“...And Allah loves As-Sabirun (the patient).” (3:146)

7. the struggler
" Truly Allah loves those who fight in His Cause in battle array, as if they were a solid cemented structure. " (61:4)


He, The Almighty, has unlimited Love . thus, we should (anyone in their right mind) work to gain His Love. for nothing is more important than being loved by Allah.

wallahu'alam

p/s lets rush towards His Love ;)

the tie

picture credit to http://www.warehousesuitsalela.com

day in day out, we see a lot of human wearing fancy tie to work, to school, for meeting, for leisure etc. various color, design, material, even differing length and tying technique. with simple yet complicated steps, people tie their ties around their neck, wear them with pride.

on the other hand, we can see iman as a tie. worn by people each day, with various strength, attitude, differing level and faith. we can't see literally one's iman like their tie, but if we look deeper, we can see how people wears it. so, what is iman?

Among the things which Jibril asked the Prophet was: “Tell me about 'Iman (Belief).”

The Prophet sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam said:

"أَنْ تُؤْمِنَ باللهِ وَمَلاَئِكَتِهِ وَكُتُبِهِ وَرُسُلِهِ واليَوْمِ الآخِرِ وَتُؤْمِنَ بالقَدَرِ خَيْرِهِ وَشَرِّهِ"

It means: “To believe in Allah, His Angels, His Revealed Books, His Messengers, the Last Day, and to believe in destiny (qadar)--both good and evil.” Narrated by Muslim.

notice the way Rasulullah explain what is iman? He replied in order of priority, the most important matters of the belief.

the word IMAN is used in two ways :
a) to refer to the aqidah of the muslim, which never goes up and down but is constant
b) to refer to the motivation, or rather, the awareness one has of Allah in their life. This goes up and down with emotion/environment

so, with daily routine, people around, our iman goes up and down like the tie tied short and long. which at time, worries us. how are we calling ourself a true muslim when our iman is like a roller coaster ride? hold on a minute and lets reflect back thro history, even the sahabah experienced this.

From Hanzalah al-Usayyidee, radiyallahu `anhu, who said:

“Abu Bakr met me and asked: How are you O Hanzalah? I replied: Hanzalah is guilty of hypocrisy! He said: Free is Allah and far removed from all defects! What are you saying? I said: When we are with Allah’s Messenger, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, and he reminds us of the Fire and Paradise it is as if we are seeing it with our own eyes. Then when we depart from Allah’s Messenger, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, to attend to our wives, children and our business, then much of this slips from our minds. Abu Bakr said: By Allah we also experience the same. So I went with Abu Bakr until we entered upon Allah’s Messenger, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam. I said: When we are with you, you remind us of the Fire and of Paradise and it is as if we are seeing it with our eyes. Then when we depart from you and attend to our wives, children and business then much of this slips from our minds. So Allah’s Messenger, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, said: By Him in whose Hand is my soul if you remained continually as you are when you are with me and in remembering (Allah) then the angels would shake hands with you upon your beds and upon your roads. But O Hanzalah, (there is) a time for this and a time for that, (there is) a time for this and a time for that, (there is) a time for this and a time for that.

[Muslim, no. 6623]

as a human, as an insaan, we will always bound to this. As Rasulullah said 'Al-Iman Yazid wa Yankus'. but that is not an excuse for us just to let surrounding determine where and how is our iman. look how the sahabah were so worried when they realized it. how concern they are about their iman. the sahabah placed an amazing example on this matter. flip thro their history, and make note of what we can do to improve ourself.

day by day we should notice what increase and what decrease our iman. and at times we might be lost in the daily routine that we forgot to check how our ties is worn. the best way to recharge our iman is by reading His Love Letter :)

The believers are only those who, when Allah is mentioned, their hearts become fearful, and when His verses are recited to them, it increases them in faith; and upon their Lord they rely - 8:2

with more knowledge and iman, we should be more humble and strive for Him. be careful of the disease of heart - takabbur. we should remember nothing is definite for us. we can't confidently declare that 10 years from now, we will still be in iman, and we will still be working for Him. for takabbur is a sign of iman is decreasing.

And never say of anything, "Indeed, I will do that tomorrow," Except [when adding], "If Allah wills." And remember your Lord when you forget [it] and say, "Perhaps my Lord will guide me to what is nearer than this to right conduct." 18 : 23-24

so my dear friends, lets take few minutes out of our day, try to check our iman today. is our iman today is sick, or is it healthy? is it dieing or pink in health? lets recharge our iman towards Him, and always make duaa and pray for Allah grant us everlasting iman, today, tomorrow, till the day we close our eyes. pray to Him as He is The Almighty, The Creator, as He who hold our heart.

أللهم يا مقلب القلوب ثبت قلوبنا على دينك وعلى طاعتك

p/s lets always check what 'tie' we are wearing, lets make sure it is as colourful as Islam, as wonderful as Iman, and as neat as Ihsan

wallhu'alam

life lesson

have you ever wonder
when you look up to the sky
tracing the fluffy cloud
what is there beyond?

sometimes, we are too occupied with our so-called the biggest problem in this world. but once you take time out from your own shell, and look around. you will be shocked. and then you will feel that ache in your heart for you had realized how selfish you are.

spend a day with those unfortunates. you'll realize that your problems will just melt away seeing their struggle to pay for a pint of milk. you will feel you have nothing to complain when you start doing math in your head for 6 people yet there is only one bed in the house. you can't remember what you were so envious about when you remember the 2 clothes they wore for those 5 times you met them, are all hanged on the wall.

let them teach you the meaning of life, and the meaning of living the life. and let those hardship and hunger be the tarbiyah you need, the tarbiyah you ought to be taking in. don't count the tears you shed put of self-pity, but try to count the smiles you impart on them

be thankful of what you have, be grateful of what you had been given and be gracious to those in need.

p/s angin berzikir kencang-kencang. mari jealous kepada si angin.

just no

no listening to my dad's takbir
no trying to figure out what is the menu for the day
no helping my mommy in the kitchen
no staying up late to iron all 10 sets of baju raya
no waking up early and lining up for shower
no rushing to get ready in time for mosque
no shaking hands, hugging and apologizing
no walking together for prayer
no praying in the same saff
no familiar faces of neighbors
no arguing whether to stay home or follow my parents to raya around the kampung
no sweating serving people and handing duit raya for kids
no hassling to pack everything for journey to Kedah and KL
no fighting for the middle seat with sisters
no staying awake throughout the journey accompanying my dad driving
no stopping at R&R as family and have that yummy ikan patin
no long tiring journey against the traffic flow
no excitement to meet aunties and uncles
no counting and comparing our duit raya totals
no eating yummy food until can barely walk
no reluctant feeling to leave KL and go back to Perlis
no joy, laughter and love with them..


just tears on the 6th eid away from home....
O Allah, protect them with Your Love and shower them with Your Grace ♥

irritated to inanimates

what a day. i know i know. it sounds so spoilt, but honestly He holds my feeling and im sure He has a great plan by putting that feeling in me :)

was very congested in the classroom, and the lecturer been teaching exceeding his time limit. at one point i felt like vomiting because of the closed space. the heat starting to suffocate me and trigger that 'irritate-switch' within me. anything touching my face starting to raise my anger, my normal sandals starting to feel too tight, my arm socks making me so mad. sound a bit crazy right? hihi.

right after he went out of class, i rushed out to go back to my room. everything i saw along the way is boiling my head. dash into my room, start taking off the sandal, the arm socks, the labcoat at an instance!


but the great part is, as i sit by my window, open it wide, then sitting by the awesome green tree, with His love-letter, the sakinah comes overwhelm me and i feel so connected to His creations. masyaAllah, even i didn't hear their zikr literally, but somehow felt it :)

note to self : make sure to take time to listen to the zikr around (59:1)

Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahuakbar!

mereka itu

Sebiru hari ini, birunya bagai langit terang benderang
Sebiru hati kita, bersama di sini

Seindah hari ini, indahnya bak permadani taman surga
Seindah hati kita, walau kita kan terpisah

Bukankah hati kita telah lama menyatu
Dalam tali kisah persahabatan ilahi
Pegang erat tangan kita terakhir kalinya
Hapus air mata meski kita kan terpisah
Selamat jalan teman
Tetaplah berjuang
Semoga kita bertemu kembali
Kenang masa indah kita
Sebiru hari ini


Seindah hari ini, indahnya bak permadani taman surga
Seindah hati kita, walau kita kan terpisah

p/s Allah memilih mereka2 yg hebat utk memegang tanggungjawab ini. aku mahu menjadi seperti mereka juga
pp/s rindu mereka..

mereka yang hebat

" aku tidak mahu menjadi yang melihat, aku mahu menjadi yang dilihat "

57:10-11

Dan mengapa kamu tidak membelanjakan harta benda kamu pada jalan Allah? - Padahal Allah jualah yang mewarisi langit dan bumi (serta segala isinya). Tidaklah sama di antara kamu, orang-orang yang membelanjakan hartanya serta turut berperang sebelum kemenangan (Nabi menguasai Makkah). Mereka itu lebih besar darjatnya daripada orang-orang yang membelanjakan hartanya serta turut berperang sesudah itu. Dan tiap-tiap satu puak dari keduanya, Allah janjikan (balasan) yang sebaik-baiknya. Dan (ingatlah), Allah Maha Mendalam PengetahuanNya akan apa yang kamu kerjakan.

Siapakah orangnya yang mahu memberikan pinjaman kepada Allah, sebagai pinjaman yang baik (ikhlas) supaya Allah melipat-gandakan balasannya? Dan (selain itu) ia akan beroleh pahala yang besar!

harta bertimbun2, bukan hak kita. tetapi semata2 pinjaman Allah. tetapi, dengan harta yg hanya dipinjamkan tu kpd kita, kita masih punya keberanian utk kedekut. in another way, macam selfish kan? Allah bagi kat kita harta supaya kita guna ke jalan kebaikan. harta bukan kita punya pun, tanak share dgn orang lain. selfish kan? maybe jugak kita tidak nampak mengapa perlu diberi harta yg penat2 cari kepada sesuatu yg subjective. tapi kan Allah dah ceritakan ganjaran2nye?

seronok, bila memberi dengan ikhlas, atas inisiatif sendirik, then kita nampak hasilnya. cubalah memberi. serious, perasaan tu hanya pemberi je tahu ;) tp dalam ayat ni, Allah specifically bgtahu reward dia :) bila kita meminjamkan pinjaman yg baik, Allah ckp Allah akan pulangkan dengan belipat ganda. imagine kita bagi pinjam pada kawan kita rm100, and kawan kita pulankan rm1000 (bukan riba ye) kan ke seronok? mesti kita nak pinjamkan lagi kan? so begitulah kita patutnya dgn menginfakkan harta kita kepada Allah. kejarlah ganjaran yg berlipat ganda tu, pahala melimpah2 yang mulia :)

sebelum pape, please lihat harta itu lebih daripada maknanya. harta yang dimaksudkan bukan setakat wang sahaja, tetapi masa kita, tenaga kita itu juga adalah harta. so jgnlah disebabkan miskin, itu menjadi alasan utk tidak berinfak ;)

merujuk pada ganjaran yang lebih kepada penginfakkan sebelum pembukaan kota Mekah, contoh yang sye dapat fikir di sini ialah rumah :) bila kita nak bina rumah idaman kita, belanjanya mesti baaaanyaaak kan? tambah2 skrg kos sume barang yg sgt mahal. so nak bina rumah itu, belanja yang diperlukan sgt bnyk. compare pulak lepas rumah dah dibina, tinggal nak maintain je. so belanjanye kurang dari nak membina kan? so begitulah juagk dlm dakwah dan tarbiyah. pabila kita nak menginfakkan harta (masa, tenaga, duit) utk memulakan dan membangunkan DnT tu, lebih tinggi darjatnya kerana harta yang diperlukan itu lebih banyak daripada utk maintain DnT yang sudah dibina oleh orang sebelum itu. so, buat mereka yang sedang bersusah payah menginfak membina DnT dimana2, ambillah ayat ini sebagai penaik semangat and pemujuk hati supaya sentiasa kuat ;)

57:12-14

(Ingatlah) ketika engkau melihat (pada hari kiamat): orang-orang yang beriman, lelaki dan perempuan, cahaya (iman dan amal soleh) mereka bergerak cepat di hadapan mereka dan di sebelah kanan mereka (semasa mereka berjalan, serta dikatakan kepada mereka): "Berita yang mengembirakan kamu pada hari ini, (kamu akan beroleh) Syurga yang mengalir di bawahnya beberapa sungai, kekal kamu di dalamnya; yang demikian itu adalah kemenangan yang besar".

(Ingatlah) semasa orang-orang munafik, lelaki dan perempuan (yang sedang meraba-raba dalam gelap-gelita pada hari kiamat), berkata kepada orang-orang yang beriman: "Tunggulah kami, biarlah kami mengambil sedikit dari cahaya kamu". (Lalu) dikatakan (kepada mereka secara mengejek-ejek): "Baliklah kamu ke belakang, kemudian carilah cahaya (di sana)", serta diadakanlah di antara mereka (yang beriman dan yang munafik itu) sebuah tembok yang mempunyai pintu, di sebelah dalamnya mengandungi rahmat (Syurga dan nikmat), dan di sebelah luarnya, dari situ terdapat (neraka) dan azab seksa.

(Pada saat itu) mereka (yang munafik) menyeru orang-orang yang beriman (sambil berkata): "Bukankah kami bercampur gaul dengan kamu (di dunia dahulu)?" Orang-orang yang beriman menjawab: "Benar! Akan tetapi kamu telah membinasakan diri kamu (dengan perbuatan munafik) dan kamu telah menunggu-nunggu (kebinasaan umat Islam), dan kamu pula ragu-ragu (terhadap perkara-perkara ugama) serta kamu diperdayakan oleh angan-angan kosong (untuk mencapai maksud kamu), sehinggalah datangnya (maut) yang ditetapkan oleh Allah (kepada kamu). Dan (selain itu), kamu pula diperdayakan oleh bisikan Syaitan dengan (pengampunan) Allah (semata-mata dan melupakan azabNya).

seperti yang diceritakan dalam ayat2 Allah itu, fikir2kan golongan mana yang kita nak. mahu menjadi golongan yang bercahaya2 (seperti glitter2 ;) ) itu, atau yang melihat sahaja. klu kat dunia ni pun, kita mesti jealous tgok klu orang bawak kereta berkilat cantik, kita bawak kereta kodok je kan? tak nak la nnt kat akhirat kita hanya punya perasaan jealous tu. biarlah kita jealous di dunia supaya kita dimotivasi utk menjadi golongan yang bercahaya2 tu insyaAllah :)

golongan munafik, hanya meminta2 cahaya itu dari golongan bercahaya2 itu, and bila diberitahu 'kembalilah kamu and carilah sendiri cahaya itu'. tp time tu, bolehke pulang2 kembali ke dunia nak cari balik cahaya tu?? once kat akhirat, tak boleh kan patah2 balik. so bila diberitahu begitu, mesti kecewa dan hampa sbb sekarang, meraka tak dapat kelebihan dan ganjaran Allah itu kan?

so, nasihat buat diri sndiri mostly, lets try our best to own the glitters and the bright light on that day, and never let us to be sad there.

wallahua'lam

musafirku

lately i'm a loyal rider on emotion roller coaster. may be this is the test He puts forward for me to realize how strong i am. may be this is the sign He light up for me to realize where i should go. maybe this is the air He send for me to realize how to breath.

23-25/9
very very last minutes decision. but i knew what i needed to do, when i needed to do it. just a day before, bought the bus ticket, and puff, i disappeared from Belgaum and turn up in Bangalore. the moment i saw her, my heart dropped. at that very moment, i realize we both needed the strength. we both are as fragile as bubbles. those words, the loves and the sleep in together, verified by the blooming pink lava. mashaAllah, what i got from the short visit is indescribable by words. dear, im not going to write much here about our time together, but what i could say is, im soooo thankful for this nikmat, and endless thanks to Allah for this friendship. i hope those love notes i left for you will keep you strong, and my love for you never stop even with hundreds miles between us!

30/9-2/10
alhamdulillah, was a great trip, emotionally and spiritually. sorry to those i never get the chance to inform about me coming over to Mangalore, but i never expect there is so many familiar hearts there, and familiar hearts waiting for my news. love you all, and im glad to see all of you. it is a blessing to get to spend more time to nurture ukhuwah with my two dearest friends here, and a lot more from other place. and shocking enough, i met my cousin there! didnt know he was coming. was a great catch up after more than 2 years we never meet, felt so far away as family.

alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah. my emotion is still growing and i hope these journeys help me, hope i manage to pick up all the seed He placed for me.