pass time

..im hurting inside..
..for de rudeness of people..
..disappearance of face..
..and ignorance of love..

finishing line

ramadhan arriving at it's end, and i still want to be in it... it feels so short... but wat to do... plus, i wish i dont have to go thro Eid mess.... it just killing me to have to go thro all diz....

ramadhan, hope i can meet u again next yeah, insyaAllah. will miss u a lot!

anyhow, wish everyone Happy Raya!! sorry for everything yeah.... mummy, daddy, raya is just not de same widout u both here by my side me. i wish i can go back n be wif u all, but.... its ok, im coming home soon! i'll study hard to make dat RM1431 worth k! huugggzzz...

FrieNds

one hell of a week, a lot of tear n fear, and at the end of it, de disgusting week never end. no specific event will be told here as i'd upset enuff by myself about all these, so i dont need anymore reason or extra moment for my eyes to do thier reluctant job of crying.

things i learnt during de week

1. friends, we dont really decide whom is our friend. sometime i wish dis person can be my friend, dis one dont be my friend. but at the end, it just didnt work dat way. and we have to live wif it. its not a bad thing actually. but de bad part is, the one whom i really wish will be here to hug me and care for me during diz hard time isnt here. luckly, im not totally alone here. thanks Sindhu!

2. enough sleep is compulsory, its not an option.

and some other stuff i learnt but i might wanna keep it to myself. to all my friend, im sorry if i hurt or offended anyone during my bad week. but im so sorry again, im too busy managing my brain to really see wat i do to others. gimme time, so i can be back to normol, i hope so!

keep hurting

sometimes, a person keep hurting u, keep on hurting u, when all u try is not to do de same to dat person. i dont want to say much about diz, but im very very disappointed in dat person. im not saying im too good dat i din hurt no one, it just im disappointed bcoz i was hoping for a new person of her. but sometimes, sometimes, dat is life ryte? its ok now i guess, i have my own circle, away, and i hope de circle is enuff to secure n love me :) and i know de circle will always will! :D

ramadhan comes again. and i always love diz month! its undesribable how i feel about it, but i really enjoy it :D and Alhamdulillah, thanks Allah for giving me another chance to be here :)

btw, just sharing a photo, an advertisement actually, that i saw in Kak Najah's blog.

de 1st two girl is my sister! lol

dog

i know, dog is not really a nice thing to refer to, but since i see dogs everyday during my walk to college, so im simply taking one of the dogs as my topic.

there is a dog, one of his legs is hurting, i think something wrong with it socket or something ( i dont know, im not a vet lol). so, he is walking and moving around with 3 legs only. sometimes i see him walk a few step then lay back on the ground, very hard to stand. but other time, he is running around with his 3 legs.

so, dats life. sometime, u feel so down, u barely can breath, but u need to stand up and be strong. life arent bad all de time, so cheer up and think positive :)

lol, that reminder is for me :)

the best of worse

went to had lunch at Adarsh Hotel!! then BASKIN ROBBINS!! so worth it...

since im so excited after i had my BR i decide to cheer up my blog with pics of the happiest moment ( or things or food) i had in India :) (after so long i never upload pics in here lol)

actually, the board was dark maroon.. hehe. diz crazy gal sanggup buy cloth to wrap the board lol. tried very hard to wrap the board tightly, but the cloth keep on stretching into other directions... so dats de best i can do... and the table mat, pink pooh! i love my table!!

sorry, i dont know why the pic terbalik, when i check it in my laptop, it doesnt, but when i upload.... anyhow, its what i carved during my 1st carving class.. hehehe.. nothing much.. :) but i like it..

argh, another bengong pic. it suppose to be the other way!! huhu... this is the drink i had at Adarsh hotel. Sweetheart, very thick mango drink. i like!!

1st time at Adarsh hotel. it was nice! but too much herbs i think. but, still nice. dats y i went for second time today!! i had chicken lasagna diz time :) (but forgot to take pics)

diz was the time when En Khai came to meet all of us. very very nice . a full course meal which i melantak like hyper. haha.. En Khai, its our secret ni k!

its not very nice, but at least it was something different. haha.. i didnt manage to eat much tho, bcoz my wisdom tooth is bugging me! huhu. but i guess my roomate enjoy it much :)

last but not least, my baby! i love baskin robbins now.. haha.. it is the best thing i can get here, to make up for the other down side.. haha. i hope it will be sufficient to keep me going for 5 years. and the good thing is, its so cheap here, compared to at malaysia :) and the taste is great! :D

so, thats all for today, i got to study now. lol.. getting sleepy even just start reading like 5 minutes ago... see ya!

freedom of choice

class had started, some, but some still leave us hanging. i hate dissection class. guess why? we sit around cadaver for 2 hours doing nothing. bila ktorg sembang, prof marah lak.. aijo..... its not a pleasant view, let alone smell.....

i miss home, and everything there. talk to my dad again last nyte, yeay!! miss u dad, a lot! mummy, miss u too...... hope i can go back diz december :) even some din wanna go back coz its only 6 months since we are here, i mean by december lol, but i still wanna go back. lots to do, lots to bring back here :)

so far, thats all i want to say. and, FREEDOM OF CHOICE, i hope i have it.....

carving wax

around so many people
i feel standed
alone on this unknown fairy tale
struggling to wake up
and find my soulmate

just few words, that only certain people ( i really do mean certain people ) who really understand it. or maybe nobody will.

so long didnt update here. i got a lot of free time for now since the classes not starting yet, but somehow, i cant find the time, or the word to write. it just things happen, and its so complicated. i know, things actually are so simple, i make it complicated. but the truth, may be i dont want it to be simple, coz then, i knew how much it is a burden rather than joy.

india, things getting a little progress. bought most of my book, learnt how to carve a love shape and book lol, start cooking on my own, paid my hostel and so on. oh, i had stop eating at mess hall...

i miss my dad and my mom, i miss home, i miss the Merz that i drive everywhere and i scratched it, i miss my bed where i put everything on it, i miss my siblings whom i fight a lot with, i miss my friends who hug me so much, i miss shopping mall in malaysia where i can enjoy my very hobby of shopping, i miss food in malaysia where i can eat without limit, i miss everything. its not that before this i didnt appreciate all that, indeed, i enjoy all of them as much as i can coz i knew how much they r the best things in the world. i knew it already. just, now being away, i miss it.

mommy and daddy, i miss u all so much. looking forward to go back for summer holiday k!

elepanda, thanks for always being here for me, i miss u sooo very much. and looking forward for our next 'date'.

hanisah and husna, i wish im there with u both, coz i love u two so much, and it is very hard being away from both of u. i miss u guys so much. and thanks, for always loving me and let me be myself, and share with me.

to friends that i didnt mention ur name, u knew how much u had help me, and how much i appreciate it. huggz for u all.

till then, i'll write again soon..

india

Flying with MAS, my first time actually, and it was so nice.. thanks Cik Cam for making my journey a lot nicer!! I had a nice long sleep all the way to Bangalore, right after i had the meal.. haha. the meal was ok I guess.... the sleep was so nice, i wish the flight was longer lol. arriving at Bangalore, it was pass 2am Malaysia time (MT), which is why we were so sleepy! By the time we settle everything and arrived at the resort we were staying, its 4am MT. Slept right away!

The next morning, wake up at 7.30am India time (IT), then had breakfast at 8am. The breakfast was ok, but the chicken quite spicy, for me. Then, heading to airport again, taking another flight to Hubli with a small plane. Im not sure about the name, but its small, and scary. The journey is around an hour, but because of the shaking and vibrating all that, i was sooo dizzy. Huhu. Then another hour journey by bus to Belgaum. Was ok...

Arriving at JNMC, I had lost track of the time. I keep on getting confused IT with MT (bcoz i didn’t change my mobile phone’s time yet! Haha) the different is 2 and half hours. Was so tired during the first day, with the unpacking (27kg of stuff, very tired to carry around!), then taking the registration form and so on. We were suppose to go out with seniors and have dinner outside together, but then the warden didn’t allow us to go out with senior ( to be exact, the warden didn’t allow us to even see the seniors) because she scared the seniors will rag us (who will rag us exactly???) the seniors were eager to help but then...... so we have to stay in our room.... hurm...

The food here is ok, but i don’t have any appetite to eat here. I eat when i only need to. A lot of money been spent because have to buy a lot of thing. So far, we had register for the university and college, open the bank account, buy some stuff. We still didn’t register for hostel, buy medical appliances, medical books. oh, the most i cant forget here is the hiv test. at least at malaysia, i drive myself to get the injection and all, but in india, can u believe, i bought the syringe and the needle and give to the guy to poke me!!! and now, on my table, there is a dissection set! anyone want me to dissect ur body?

For the time being, we are having orientation, and lotsa shopping! Waaa, im running out of money. And i miss my family and friends!!! I want internet!!!

Went to do my Punjabi suit, it was ok. Went by ourself since the senior cant even talk to us, we managed to arrive at the place safely, wif a little screaming on the road lol (trust me, if u ever need to cross the road here, u will scream too!) i ordered 5 suits of Punjabi suit, which cost me around IR2200 for the sewing and the material. Its ok i guess...

Last nite i managed to talk to my dad!!! So nice.... miss home.

so gentle

went for my hepatitis A vaccination today! was a little painful and lots of fear as usual, but what i like is, the doctor, he was so gentle and kind. i love this kind of doctor. thanks Doc!!

so, i got my luggage, i tried to start packing, and miracle happen! i cant fit everything inside the luggage lol (everyone could had guess that i cant fit my stuff inside any luggage coz they know how much i like to bring lotsa stuff lol) and now im gonna figure out how to fir everything.. and later worry about how to carry all the damn heavy luggages by myself :((

so, gotta go. pray for me.

vaccine

its been a long time since i wrote truly about my feeling, and im not gonna do that now either. all i can conclude is im now in a state of hormone imbalance.

progressing, so far i did
1. check for my immunity level
2. got typhoid and 1st Hep B vaccination
3. some shopping
4. chose which laptop bag to bring
5. called the officer
and some other little things.

for now, the hardest for me is doing this without my best friends. and all my friend seem to fade away during the time i really need them. hurm....

my next plan
1. go get the vitamins
2. 1st Hep A vaccination
3. get my luggage
4. find sport shoes and black shoes
5. transfer all my movies into external hard disk

pray for me.

moderation

there is no more moderation. everything is going on full speed. people gone missing, my bestfriends disappear, fear getting stronger, hormone imbalance, money usage. for short, EVERYTHING!

so far, I made the cookies. i also settled things wid my scholar. seen de doctor about immunization which was very tiring and will be more... wish i can really tell someone about it... anyway, thanks much Azan! love you.

=my tomorrow's plan=
1. typhoid vaccination
2. shopping
3. call the officer

im not sure how and when, but so far, im holding strong settling all these. even i did lose my temper yesterday when the hospital really pissed me off. or not really the hospital but the ******. i was super extremly pissed and tired and hungry yesterday till i cried. huhu

pray for me.

malaysia tercinta

just came back to malaysia yesterday. felt like a long tiring vacation. i thought my vacation at the island will be relaxing and soothing, but since too many traveling been done, at last, i end up pretty tired. but i guess, its ok. Alhamdulillah, we all safely come back to Malaysia :)

now, my main focus is to settle everything b4 going to india. my flight to Bangalore is on July 12, 2009 at 2210 oclock.

1. arrange meeting wif scholar/ settle things regarding scholar
2. find suitable luggage!
3. sort and choose what things to buy and bring
4. make cookies
5. get immunization

so far, that is what i have in mind., need to settle it ASAP! any help is kindly appreciated :) x

rushing

sooo many things to be written. last few days had been long days as i was rushing and so busy arranging and settling my leave from ktt, offer letter, and visa before i go back to perlis. and now i am in perlis. luckly, i manage to settle my visa, i guess i did.. my visa will be ready by this tuesday :)

oh, i have to give my tortoise to my cousin :( since im going to India very soon, 12th JULY 2009 to be exact, and i will be busy most of the time during my remaining 20 days in Malaysia, so i guess its not the time to have any pet, anymore.. so, no more pet.... its just me and myself (whateva that mean lol)

hah, and i realize how JPA now likes my second parents, if u know what i mean :) thanks JPA..

i will write back later. need to settle some more things..

progressing

so far so good. i still didnt kill anyone plus didnt crash my dad's car yet lol. hope i will never do such thing, ever!

so, im happy now. i manage to buy pen, pen refill, eraser, correction fluid and pencil leads :) thats better than nothing ryte? but im so sad to find out that the shoes that i like, the black shoes to be wear on departure day is out of stock. the biggest size they got today is 6 so i cant get it :((( will it be a new stock soon? plz.. i suppose to settle shoes shopping by today, but sadly, i didnt get my black shoes yet, and a sport shoes.. huhu..

next on my list, i think i wanna buy passport cover, and some present for my friends. oh, and some eating craze lol. i wanna eat sooo many things. can i? we'll see :D

write again soon!

too long

i know its too long since i wrote here, but cant blame me.. no internet, so cant write anything... sad, confuse and not sure.. haha, becoz i dont really know what i had missed for the whole time im offline.. too many!

i was sick for a week last week. not the best experience.. but what to do.. skipped a lot of class coz of my health problem :( fever, cold and cough! alhamdulillah now im getting better :)

now im at home! enjoying so much, nothing can beat the feeling of being at home! and the internet! oh my gosh, its heaven! hehehehe.. so sad im going back to collage so soon :(( tomorrow im going to kangar! shopping again i guess.. so far i did went shopping wif my dad *can u believe it? i went shopping wif my dad!!* and did some of my own shopping. so far i manage to find mini umbrella, my PJ pant, shoes ( flats and wedges ), black slack pant, soap, leave-on lotion, perfume.. i think thats all i manage to get for now.. will go find some more thing tomoro! :)

alot to do for now. update later! :)) now i need to figure out also when to go check my immunity level.. hurm...

help help help

i really need internet! i miss my unlimited internet access at home....
im really stress out wif everything. now almost everyday i become moody.. so sorry my friends but i need time to be stable again...

one of my tortoise died.. sooooo sad...

FESKITT
sport, now i know i suck in running! totally flat out after like 200 meters... and yuck, another sunburn!!! :((

panda, how could u......

i know i know

i know i should write something since a long time already... but i had been very busy *not really, to be exact, no internet at my collage!!* so, thats why i cant really update.... and now, i cant really remember what had happen for the past two weeks.. i think i can write something briefly..

April 8
we went to UKM, KL to the faculty of dentistry there, its like an exposure trip for us.. it was exciting yet tiring. but i've learnt a lot during the trip. we had been explain and brought for a tour around the faculty. so now, i can say that i know a bit of every dentistry specialist. but i cant decide which one suit me yet. and i saw how dentistry clinical, the lab and so on. it was so informative, and advantadge for us who went there for the first trip, everything is fresh and ready for us. bcoz for the second trip, they were rushed to finish the tour and everything. so lucky us. :) we arrived back at collage around 3pm. i was sooo tired and sad. tired coz of the walking around the big faculty, sad bcoz i want to go shopping so bad, KLCC was soooo near to the UKM yet so far coz i have to stick wif the trip :( hurm...

April 11
Port Dickson! after like 2 years i didnt go there. the journey started at 730am, wearing the very odd green KI shirt *lol*. we all look likes kindergarden student, seriously. we had our breakfast there, then we start the 1st activity, Aerobic. its according to class. it was fun! and our class got 3rd place i think.. hehe.. then 2nd activity - Amazing Race and sandcastle competition. i joined the Amazing Race, and we got 1st place!! hehe... for sandcastle, we got 2nd place. overall, we got 2nd place :) its was a joyful day, tiring and frustrating. we have to wait like 2 hours for our bus!! and, nasty sunburn!! im still a zebra, even after more than one week now :((

April 18
its like a new thing to me. FUTSAL! never tried be4, but since nobody in our class wanna participate it, so we have to join it.. but honestly, we had loads of fun! even my leg very painful the day after, but i still feel happy that i at least tried futsal :) and we got 2nd place!! yeay me..

i think thats about everything, coz im tired, sleepy and blurry. hehehe... oh, i got tortoises! sooo cute, a boy and a girl, still no name yet.. will be named soon!! ok, im off to bed now. any weird spelling or grammatically terrible sentence, my appology *its 135 in morning!*

...

PANDA, HELP!

thanks friends

thanks to all that help me during my moody stressful phase.. haha. and most likely the phase will be longer than i expected... lol..

so, here it is, big hugz and thanks to Fiona Yuen, Xiao Chien, Gayathri, Zainal, Dennie, Cecil, Claire, and lotsa more i think... thanks thanks thanks.

now im trying to readjust myself to my old schedule when i was in KTT last year.. kinda hard, wif the staying up. not enjoying it now.. haha.. but i did stay up for three time already since i came to KTT last week.

and internet, please please please. very frustrating. the connection keep on lost untracable.. i feel like crying when i was happily chatting or talking on phone online, suddenly it just drop and i cant reconnect again until after around 12 hours. i think u got what i mean... :((((