my 1.5 years

i dont know what brought it up, but today I'm dragged back to that memory. wow, come to think of it, that was a lot of tears. haih.

i was bad back then.
was totally a different person
one mistake that I let it ruin my whole time there.
one mistake that haunt me through careless tongues

regardless of the tears and pain
i learnt a lot.
how to be a human
how to behave
how to be strong
how to be better
still lots to improve, but alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah

those that i somehow hurt, misbehaved or simply anything
my sincere apology.

to those who helped me thro it
apartment depan that always welcome me
my parents who always been there on the other side of dreadful phone calls
the frequent visit to my grandparents and relatives
my sincere gratitude :)

browsing thro my folder, some pictures of the past...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

firework

 - no picture because brain is all over the wall -

when you stuff 500 pages in 3 hours, you will definitely get a headache!

and when will you realize that? when it takes you another hour to finish the next 100 pages, and 2 hours to finish the next 50 pages lol

robbuna yusahhil :)

wasp

WASP, not whatsapp ye :P

Dear wasp,
thanks for stinging me today. you are such a small creature, yet masyaAllah, the pain you cause was mind blowing! I wonder what I did that made you angry at me, but I'm sorry if I did something that bug you.

Sincerely,
Swollen little finger.

*okay, am I losing it? heh.*

kata ayah, takpe lah sakit. Allah nak bagi kurang dosa tu.

alhamdulillah :)

and somehow, it made me think. Little thing -> big impact. Oh I so want to be that little human who can contribute a wonderful positive impact for Islam, biiznillah!

*miss mom much*

an eye for an eye

thinking that no one reads this blog, I sometimes tend to rumble a lil too much, or tend to neglect it to the extent of a haunted house *gulp*

exam again next week, and well, sick again. is it becoming a trend now? last time during 1st internal exam, I got fever and cold. and today I woke up with a sore throat... please oh please Allah, give me health and most importantly blessed health :)

alhamdulillah, I'm not that stressed out with all. I can't say I'm not stressed, but it is more under control that how I used to be for the past 3 years heh! thanks mom and dad (and everyone) who always pray for me :)

p/s yes, I am a family person. I'm sorry if I annoy any of you with it, but can't and won't change who I am for anyone else, but Him :)

Normally, I don't get angry easily, and I seldomly ever lose my temper. but sadly last week (astaghfirullah) the bad side of me showed up and I lashed out on people (not random people okay) Allah! Forgive me for my outburst. I need to nurture the patience within me more indeed!

 And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous. Who spend [in the cause of Allah ] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good

 3:133-134

*breath in breath out* so Nadia, please be good to yourself and to others, always! Allah LOVES the doers of good ;)

Speak

post mortem

have you ever seen that movie (what movie??) i mean, any movie, that shows the postmortem thingy?
having that in your mind, have you ever think how it will feel if it is done on you (alive, with sensation and everything??)


with that feeling in mind, all I want to say is (as reminder for myself mainly), do take care when you want to give advice, or express your opinion and critics to someone. sometimes, maybe that person need your advice, maybe that person deserve the critics, but always take care of your words. for you maybe your choice of words are perfectly fine, but for the listener....... I don't mean that you have to sugar-coat every word, but try your best to speak words of kindness. empathy, keep that in mind all the time. please.

Abû Hurayrah relates that Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak a good word or remain silent. And whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should show hospitality to his neighbor. And whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should show hospitality to his guest.” [ Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim ]

that is all I can say. I really hope I can apply this in my daily life, biiznillah.
wallahu'alam.

*forgive me for my flaws, forgive me for my mistakes*

crooked wave

On the authority of Abu Al-Abbas ‘Abdullah bin ‘Abbass (RA), who said: “One day I was behind the Prophet (SAW) [riding on the same mount] and he said to me: “Young man, I shall teach you some of words [of advice]: Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of Allah; If you seek help, seek help of Allah. Know that if the Nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that Allah had already prescribed for you, and that if they gather together to harm you with anything, they would harm you only with something Allah had already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.” [at-Tirmidy]

Conservative posting sgtlah mencabar dn memenatkan, mental dn fizikal. and sgt2 bersyukur bila dh habis posting nih. struggle sgt nk cari patient, nk dpt patient, and roadblock bila nk wat patient... even dgn sume tu, alhamdulillah, dpt jgk habisknn quota utk composite and dpt patient utk end posting juge. alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah. tak boleh nak describe perasaan, hari end posting tu, punya lah nervous takut cikgu reject case yg dpt (tanya PG utk case tu) sbb simple sgt, tp alhamdulillah Allah mudahkan je, even baru initial caries, even takde adjacent tooth, and siap boleh fill dgn composite lagi (sepatutnya amalgam lah kan?) and habis je viva dgn cikgu, terasa sgt2 lah lega. hanya Allah yg tahu perasaan time tu. tak boleh henti senyum :D

harap2, at the end of the day, quota tu xde la strick sgt... and dia consider and kira extracted teeth jge.. bukan tanak buat patient, tp susah sgt nak cari patient... especially yg ada Class II. Allah, lembutkn hati dia pleaseee...

when the surrounding is unfavorable, He, Allah, is The One who help me and make this journey smooth (I'm not saying it is free of obstacle, but by Allah's grace, I can smile and deeply thankful, for everything). His love, His help, His power! may Allah make this coming 6 months a smooth sail.


Subhanallah Alhamdulillah Allahuakbar (:

sakit rumah?

as I'm very very familiar with homesickness (LOL), I can conclude that the MAXIMUM homesickness occurs at two occasions :
1) the very moment when you arrive in the foreign country ie India
2 ) exam season

just my two cents (:

event 1
Me : kenapa ayah suka panggil picah 'hasqiyah'?
Picah : mana la picah tau
Me : la, kenapa lak picah tak tahu?
Picah : dah tak tahu, nak wat camne..
Me : kena la tahuuuu
Picah : nak wat camne.... cikgu tak ajar yg tu kat sekolah la..

event 2
mom : esok kambing tu masak lauk apa?
dad : kambing masak rossss
mom : sbbnya Taufiq kata kalau ada kambing golek, dia nak amik cuti esok
dad : kambing masak rossss. tapi kalau kambing tu jatuh atas tanah, ada la kambing golek!
me : erk!

event 3
Picah : nenek nenek si bongkok tiga, siang mengantuk malam berjaga, mencari cucu di mana ada, nenek ku kahwin dgn anak raja..
Sarah : anak gajah??!
Picah : anak raja la!
Me : nenek mana kahwin dgn anak gajah lak ni?!

event 4
Picah : Sarah, tadi ada nenek tu lalu depan tuuu
Sarah : nenek? nenek mana?
Me : Sarah tak tahu nenek mana?!
Sarah : nenek mana?
Me : nenek yang kahwin dgn anak gajah tu!

p/s bnyk lagi rasanya yg mahu diabadikan, tp sbb kepala cam pusing2, so tak berapa nak boleh recall.. next time perhaps..

the roof

last night, was on my bed, looking at the fan spinning fast, waiting for sleep to come. and my mind is thinking excessively into the future, trying to plan coming 3 days. too much that sleep inevitably resist me.

and before it was too long, I can't help but remember. It felt like just yesterday I was on my bed back home, staring at the ceiling worrying and deeply reluctant to go back to India in a week time. and yet here I am. here I am.

8 subjects, 8 papers. and yet this is the first internal, and there is 3 more examinations to come.. Amazingly, something totally different this exam. Alhamdulillah, All Praise due to Allah. and deeply thanks to my parents for your prayers :)

truly,
Prophet said, Three Duas are such in which there is no doubt of their acceptance: 1) Father’s (mother's) Dua 2) Traveler’s Dua 3) Dua of the oppressed”. (Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah)

cute moment

 - little picture but significant -

WARNING - you might not understand the story, but I can't really help it. hihi
*smiling wide*

mom : ha, yang ni okay tak?
me : okay je, macam confuse sikit
mom : lama2 okay la tu
me : ye la kot. mi.... sye tak mahu yg ni... mi cari la yg lain ye?
mom : *giggles* ye ye kita cari yg lain
me : *giggles*

love her much (:

seasonal friendship

my heart is overwhelmed by this urging and longing

and sometimes my mind is fooled by this friendship

thinking I can count on the reflection

but the crystal drops ripple out the promises you carved

with pain and disappointment

now

I let go of your hand

truly, Allah is THE BEST Listener and Helper!

^^^^

as much as we are laden unhappy by those seasonal friends who come when they need us and immediately ditch us when they are happy, take that as a lesson. lets not make our prayer, support, boycott and fight for our brothers and sisters in Palestine seasonal. I repeat, DO NOT MAKE THEM YOUR SEASONAL PRIORITY! do not just pray for them when the bomb is falling right down, do not stop buying the boycott products just when the issue is highly published. Always always always strive hard for their freedom, for Islam's glory insyaAllah (:

dented denture

throughout these 3 months, I had gone thro a lot. with the pressure of posting, the depressing mountain of books, and unexplainable mental stress. but I have to say, prosthodontics posting marks the worst yet.

how would I ever imagine that making of a denture could squeeze that much tears and sweats out of me right? Subhanallah!

Allah really wants to test me on my patience, my perseverance and my humbleness.

a lot more happened before and after that, and I must say, final year is a true testify of your physical and mental strength, and most of all, your faith in Him.

that moment, when I felt so hopeless and have nothing more in me, all i can think of is Him.

"When is the help of Allah ?" Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near (2:214)

and subhanallah, it is very near, indeed. alhamdulillah, All Praise to Allah, all went smoothly and the denture is almost ready!

a lot of tears shed. a lot of rushing to go back and pray and rush back again to class, a lot class missed, and a lot of lunch skipped. these weeks taught me, I am truly nothing without Allah. He is the one who hold me up, and make it possible for me to keep on going. I know the road is long, and a lot more will be coming in my way, but insyaAllah, Allah always always here with me (:

p/s thanks umi ayah for being here for me, always <3 br="br">

Faith

Allah want me to strengthen my patience

Allah want me to recheck my intention

Allah want me to share all my sorrow and smiles with Him

Allah want me to place my total trust in Him

Allah want me to believe in the beauty of His hikmah

Allah want me to deepen my faith in Him

Allah Allah Allah!

p/s - thanks much my dear friend for tonight ;) may Allah always shower you with His blessing and protect you from the evil :)

panda sandwich

InTheNameofAllahTheMostGraciousMostMerciful

just a normal usual day, was in my kitchen trying a new recipe - Chicken Teriyaki (turned out yummy!) for my dinner - sandwich :) cutting the chicken pieces and putting it in marinade sauce, suddenly from behind..

Assalamualaikum Nadia!

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to Nadia

Happy birthday to you

And spontaneously my hands started shaking in excitement and I think shock too. hihi. there they are - Rafika, Amy and Dila standing at my door with a cute pink cake and a huge panda!

speechless! too sweet! :D thanks so very much you three for making my day! cant deny was a bit bugged for not having any birthday thingy this year and last year (well last year was horrible one since I was crying my eyes out, thanks to Pathology and Microbiology final exam lol) this year birthday was awesome since I got to celebrate my birthday with family after 3 years, Alhamdulillah. and celebrating with my friends are great too! :)

yummy cake, cuddly panda! Alhamdulillah

thanks very much Amy, Dila and Rafika for this belated celebration! May Allah strengthen our ukhuwah till Jannah insyaAllah! :)

21st-20th-22nd

4th year

alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah

started my 4th and final year of BDS a month ago, and it is something words cant describe.

done with conservative posting. was very tiring, what with the extracted teeth quota, the patients, and the dreading end posting. mentally exhausted to top it off! but alhamdulillah, glad that i'm done with it, see you again in 5 months time insyaAllah! now in perio #_#

final year BDS - the quota, the tension, the rush, the joy, the future. may Allah ease the journey. pray for me!

and and and

this is also the 4th year celebrating eid away from home. the 4th year, finally got to me. the sadness is different than before I think. the only thing that keep me smiling is his saying - the harder it is, the better is the reward. may Allah count all the tears and sadness and grant us reward that we could never imagine insyaAllah

credit to Qidran for the pic

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Allah!

beautiful Ramadhan

Sahl ibn Sa'd reported that the Prophet salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam said: "There is a gate to Paradise that is called ar-Rayyan. On the Day of Resurrection it will say: 'Where are those who fasted?' When the last [one] has passed through the gate, it will be locked." 

[al-Bukhari and Muslim].  

Narrated Abu Huraira(r.a): The Prophet said:"... whoever fasts during Ramadan out of sincere faith and hoping to attain Allah's rewards, then all his past sins will be forgiven." 

(Sahih Al-Bukhari). 

 Abu Said al-Khudri reported that the Messenger of Allah, said: "No servant fasts on a day in the path of Allah except that Allah removes the hellfire seventy years further away from his face."

"Indeed We have revealed it (Qur'an) in the night of Power. And what will explain to you what the night of Power is? The night of Power is better than a thousand months. Therein descends the Angels and the Spirit (Jibreel) by Allah's permission, on every errand: (they say) "Peace" (continuously) till the rise of Morning!" 

Q(97:1-5) 

wallahu'alam.

 Let's win!

devine journey

Alhamdulillah, I have been blessed to be chosen to attend two of Prof Tariq Ramadan's lectures on his lecture tour :)

I had seen the advertisement for over two weeks but it didn't occur to me, at all, to attend any. On July 17^th morning, suddenly it hits me, and I emailed the person in charge to ask whether there is still seat available, and to my shock it is. Then I asked my parents for permission, and I start finding out about bus available to go to Sg. Petani to meet up my friend so we can go together to Penang. It was 4pm and I still can’t find any bus the next day as early as 6am.

Gambling with my luck, and ALL PRAISES TO ALLAH, at 5.30pm, I went to train station with my bag and everything, and Alhamdulillah, there is a train at 7pm. Sitting for one hour in that small station, from an empty benches to station full of waiting passengers, garnished with irritating cigarette smoke, somehow I realize, it is just a beginning of His tarbiyah.

Reading while listening to clickety clack of the train, carved a smile on me. Weird, I know! Alhamdulillah I got to watch sunset too. Two hours after, I safely arrived in Sg. Petani, and thanks very much to my dear Ruqaiyyah and family for having me in their home!

On the bike ride home from bus station to my home, I saw a banner on lecture tomorrow in Perlis! And automatically, I smile :) when I arrived home, my mom told me about the lecture too! Subhanallah :)  Asked my neighbor if she wants to go to his lecture too, and we have a date! :)

 

The lecture on July 18^th was on A Civil State, Ideas and Challenges and on 19^th was on Spirituality, Legislation and Ethics ; Contemporary Questions. I want to share my notes on these two lectures but I have to run on an errand soon, so what I can say is, his lectures were mind blowing. The way he explains, it is very easy to understand, yet very interesting. A lot that I’ve learn, from the lectures, and from the journey itself, it is time to adorn knowledge with action!

some of the tarbiyah I got : start looking into small little elements in your life, they will drive you speechless. there is more to marriage than the wedding and obsessing on the happy side of it. Facebook can create an image for any person which might make he/she seem better or worse than who he/she really is.

And don’t forget to check Prof Tariq's website http://www.tariqramadan.com/ on the right side, there is RAMADAN’S CHRONICLES for 5 minutes Ramadhan's daily chronicles, really, it is very impactful!

p/s DO NOT worry if you think you don’t know everything (keep learning, keep practicing), DO worry if you think you know everything! (lose the attitude dude!)

Pp/s reluctant to go back to india!

Itik

**di suatu majlis penyampaian sumbangan**

Saya : Makcik X binti Y?

Mkcik X : Ye, saya (sambil menikmati bihun goreng yg disediakan)

Saya : Makcik, pendapatan sekeluarga ni kan (merujuk kepada borang makcik X), anggaran dalam berapa ye?

Makcik X : tak dak apa2, nak.

Saya : anak makcik ada ke?

Makcik X : ada sorang, perempuan. dia dok bela itik kat rumah, tapi tak dak pendapatan apa pun la nak oi.

Erk! Allah Allah Allah TT.TT 

" Look at those who are below you, not those above you ; for this way, you will not belittle Allah's bounty on you "

(Hadith Bukhari and Muslim)

I need to be thankful to Him more and more, stop obsessing for things I don't have and start saying 'alhamdulillah' for things I have.

p/s : got a job offer yesterday, yet I ought to finish my final year first!

big goal

InTheNameofAllahTheMostGraciousMostMerciful

let this be the beginning of a journey with big purpose insyaAllah.

O Allah, give me strength and commitment to see this through, to make this one truly meaningful memorable vacation. 

nervous.

pray for me.